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Friday funny



For those of us having a hard time understanding this Enron thing .. .. ..


Feudalism
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism
You have two cows.
The government takes both, hires you to take care of them
and sells you the milk.

Communism
You have two cows.
You must take care of them, but the government takes all the
milk.

Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron
You have two cows.
You borrow 80% of the forward value of the two cows from
your bank, then buy another cow with 5% down and the rest
financed by the seller on a note callable if your market cap
goes below $20B at a rate 2 times prime. You now sell three
cows to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at a 2nd bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
so that you get four cows back, with a tax exemption for
five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via
an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows
back to your listed company. The annual report says the
company owns eight cows, with an option on one more and this
transaction process is upheld by your independent auditor
and no Balance Sheet provided with the press release that
announces that Enron as a major owner of cows will begin
trading cows via the Internet site COW (cows on web).

I am sure you now fully understand what happened.



Constance L. Jones
Project Director
Business & Media Archives of the Mahoning Valley
e-mail: business_media@mahoninghistory.org

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