File = LR1.html
Last update = September 9, 1996
Time: prelude
INTRODUCTION
[Host introduces play]
Time: 0000
(At Rise: JUAN is talking to CARMEN and ANA when ALBERTO and LUISA
enter. Alberto carries a picnic basket. Juan sees them.)
JUAN (to Carmen)
Excuse me. The painting you're interested in is
around the corner. I'll join you in a moment.
(He moves toward Alberto and Luisa. Carmen starts off but Ana
hesitates.)
JUAN
I didn't expect you so early.
ALBERTO
I'm surprised you're still here.
(In other area:)
ANA
Oh my god - that's Luisa. Luisa!
(She moves off as well.)
CARMEN (after her)
Ana?
(She shrugs and continues around corner
to other area of livingroom.)
(Now the four are together.)
ANA
Luisa?
LUISA
Ana!
(They embrace.)
ALBERTO
You have a lot of moving yet to do.
JUAN
Don't worry, everything will be gone tomorrow.
(The women break the embrace.)
LUISA
I don't believe this. What are you doing here?
ANA
Helping mother buy art. What are YOU doing here?
LUISA
This is my house.
$[cut speech]
ANA
You bought this? You must be doing very well.
LUISA
I inherited it. Alberto, this is Ana - we went to boarding
school together.
ALBERTO
My pleasure.
LUISA
We just got back from Jamaica - our honeymoon.
ANA
How wonderful! Congratulations. I hope you know how
lucky you are.
ALBERTO
Absolutely.
JUAN
I'd better tend to business. If you'll excuse me.
(He moves to other area of livingroom.)
ANA
I have to convince mother to buy a painting. Can we talk later?
LUISA
Come upstairs and join us for some champagne. Your mother,
too. We're christening our new home.
ANA
How romantic. We shouldn't be long.
(Ana moves away to the other area of
the livingroom. Alberto and Luisa turn to exit as EDUARDO and
FRANCISCO enter the room.)
Time = 0100
EDUARDO
Hello. Have you seen El Rolo?
LUISA
Juan Rameriz?
EDUARDO
Yes.
LUISA
Around the corner.
EDUARDO
Thank you.
(Eduardo and Francisco move off slowly. Luisa and Alberto exit and enter the diningroom.
(Eduardo waits til they are gone.)
EDUARDO
So you're clear on what we do?
FRANCISCO
I am.
EDUARDO
Because we only get one shot at it.
FRANCISCO
I'm perfectly aware of that. I'm not exactly a novice at
this sort of thing.
EDUARDO
You're not?
FRANCISCO
At acting.
EDUARDO
That's right, your college theatricals. We have a much more
demanding audience, I think.
FRANCISCO
I'll hold up my end. You just hold up yours.
EDUARDO
Spoken with your usual arrogance. Or is that the occupational
hazard of the art critic?
FRANCISCO
It is simpler than that - what is usually called
self-confidence. And you, an artist, should be the
expert an arrogance.
EDUARDO (ignoring this)
I was thinking - maybe it would be better if we entered
separately.
FRANCISCO
A little late to change the script, isn't it?
EDUARDO
If you entered first, just by a few minutes, then I could
be surprised to see you. That would motivate my sudden
irrational anger.
FRANCISCO
Someone as irrational as you doesn't need motivation.
I don't care how we do it, as long as we get on with it.
I have an engagement later tonight.
EDUARDO
You go first. I'll be in in a moment.
FRANCISCO
However you wish. (Leaving, Francisco turns to the
audience:) He seems to think this is his idea.
(Francisco moves into other area around
the corner. Eduardo takes a deep breath and speaks to the audience:)
EDUARDO
If those who can, do; and those who can't, teach -
where does that leave the art critic?
I'm a collector of opinions about critics.
"A critic," wrote Ambrose Bierce, " is a person who boasts
himself hard to please - because nobody tries to please him."
Or Shelley: "as the thief turns thief-taker in despair,
so an unsuccessful author turns critic." Or in Francisco's
case, the unsuccessful painter.
And who was it who said: "it is much easier to be critical
than to be correct"? Was that Disraeli?
Well, I have many such quotations in my journal at home.
I get great pleasure out of throwing mental barbs at critics,
especially at MY critics - Francisco, in my short career,
being one of the most brutal.
But Francisco has an impeccable sense of irony. Why else
would he have suggested a stunt such as this? I planned to
attack him in earnest. Then I let him off the hook by
suggesting a glorious duel! He refused to cooperate.
He said a charade could be much more effective, especially
if Guillermina were present to see it. He said in college he had
been a playwright, he knew about such things. Audiences
loved to be deceived, he said. So tonight will be a night
filled with deception . . .
I think I've given him enough time. Shall we . . .?
Eduardo exits to the other area of the
livingroom.
[0330]
-----
[0800]
(Ana enters and stops before rounding the corner
into the other area. She speaks to the audience.)
ANA
This is not the way the evening is supposed to be going.
(She is thinking on her feet.)
ANA
Juan was skeptical that my plan would work but
I insisted. All I had to do was convince mother to buy a
painting.
Which is easier said than done. If she refuses to -- well,
someone has to, that's obvious enough, and if it isn't mother,
then it's yours truly - except then Customs will stop me for
sure. They always do. They expect me to be smuggling guns,
something. That's my reputation, ever since I was in college.
Of course, mother doesn't have a clue what's going
on. And it's safer if mother buys the painting. I should
have picked out something less irritable - but who would have
known she'd loathe the painting like she does? It looks
like a perfectly fine painting to me.
One way another, we'll do what we have to do. The world will
learn the truth about the death of Violeta Parra . . .
(As she is stewing, Carmen and Eduardo enter the
livingroom.)
[0830]
CARMEN
Hello, dear.
ANA
Mother, are you all right?
CARMEN
Everything's under control.
ANA
Is he . . .?
CARMEN
He had a little temper tantrum, is all. We're fine now,
aren't we?
EDUARDO (letting Carmen call the shots)
Yes.
ANA
I think we should buy the paintings and get out of here.
CARMEN
I have a bit of business to take care of first.
Come along, you can watch the fun.
ANA
Mother?
CARMEN
Can we let her in on the secret?
EDUARDO
I am at your service, madam. Whatever you think is best.
CARMEN
Isn't he sweet?
ANA
Mother, what's going on?
CARMEN
The stabbing was a charade.
ANA
Seriously? But why?
CARMEN
To impress a woman. What else?
EDUARDO
But now he makes a fool of me even more.
CARMEN
You just hush about that. We who laugh last will laugh
best, believe me.
ANA
Mother, do you know what you're doing?
CARMEN
Of course. I haven't had so much fun since I divorced
your father.
(She leads the way into the other area of
the livingroom.)
[0930]
-----
(Time = 1200)
(Alberto and Luisa come downstairs. They enter the first part of the
livingroom, spying into the other area. If Juan and Ana are still
there, Juan says, "We need to talk - I'll be with you in a moment" as
he and Ana pass through on their way to the kitchen. If Juan and Ana
are already gone, Alberto and Luisa watch Francisco in the other
area.)
(They see Francisco get up off the floor, stretch, etc.)
ALBERTO
Well, look what we have here . . .
LUISA
What does it mean?
ALBERTO
It means that somebody is up to something very interesting.
LUISA
Where's the policewoman?
ALBERTO
Your guess is as good as mine.
LUISA
He looks perfectly fine, doesn't he?
ALBERTO
He looks like he's enjoying himself. You know what this
reminds me of? That play we saw a few years ago. The
North American play about the jealous aging writer.
LUISA
Death Trap.
ALBERTO
Yes. Someone is pulling off a scene like in the play, don't you
think?
LUISA
Perhaps so. The question is, why? It must have something to
do with the crime the policewoman mentioned, whatever it is.
Surely Juan is involved.
ALBERTO
Probably so. At least he'll be out of here tomorrow.
LUISA
I want to confront him tonight.
ALBERTO
Don't make waves, Luisa. The sooner all these people go
their own way, the better.
LUISA
I want to get to the bottom of this.
ALBERTO
Let the police handle it. She told us to stay put upstairs,
and I think that's where we belong.
LUISA
I'm going to find her.
(Luisa starts away.)
ALBERTO
Luisa!
(He speaks briefly to the audience:)
ALBERTO
Voltaire told us to tend our own gardens. I think he
was right.
(And he's following Luisa to the
diningroom.)
[1300]
----
Time = 1500
(Guillermina enters, pacing, nervous, wondering what to do next.)
(Juan enters.)
JUAN
You look like I feel.
GUILLERMINA
I'm sorry this has turned into such a mess.
JUAN
I should've just shut it down all at once.
GUILLERMINA
I think you'd have sold her some paintings without all
the rest happening.
JUAN
Maybe so, maybe not.
GUILLERMINA
There's nothing to salvage? She's still here, you know.
JUAN
She is?
GUILLERMINA
I saw Eduardo giving her the grand tour. I think they
went upstairs.
JUAN
Do you think she's up to something? I mean, why the sudden
interest in Eduardo?
GUILLERMINA
She said because he has so much passion.
JUAN
Doesn't make any sense to me. She strikes me as too refined
to be impressed by romantic extremes. And too refined to be
interested in his paintings.
GUILLERMINA
You know, I've been thinking - what if you offered her all
the paintings you have left at an incredible bargain? It
might appeal to her sense of getting away with something.
JUAN
Guillermina, you may have something there. I mean, what the
hell else can I do with them? Half the artists have changed
their address and dropped out of sight.
GUILLERMINA
And you have to vacate today. She might go for it.
Nothing pleases the wealthy as much as getting a bargain.
JUAN
It's worth a try. I knew there was a reason I hired you.
(He goes upstairs)
[1600]
(Guillermina speaks to the audience.)
GUILLERMINA
He hired me because I gave him the impression that a job was
the door to seduction. Men are so predictable.
(She returns to the other area of the
livingroom.)
-----
End of Living Room I script