ADVICE TO AN ARTIST ON CHOOSING A WIFE

 

May the gods bless you

with a wife who understands you

 

If you are not so fortunate

may she accept you for who you are

 

and if not this

at least put up with you

 

If she cannot put up with you

may she not kick you out

 

or if she does

not also call the police

or the Mental Health Institute

 

but even if she does

may she not inflict bodily harm

or drive you to cut off an ear

 

though should this happen

may the blade be clean

and not cause infection

 

Yet if serious harm comes to you

may she at least spare your work

and not destroy it

 

and if she must

let her forget the work

hoarded by your friends

 

If she knocks on their doors

may they not be home

or refuse to answer

or escape out the back door

 

and if she catches up with them at last

 

May God have mercy on their souls

 

-- Charles Deemer