The Real Paul Jones

Accept no substitutes

Martin Marks of New Yorker’s #noemail responder

Paul, · Categories: #noemail

And NO to most everything else!

Martin Marks writing in the humorous Shouts & Murmurs section of the New Yorker last October anticipates ShortMail, various email manifestos and even the #noemail project. Marks dives headlong into funny excess of rules and restrictions and denials. Recommended.

E-MAIL AUTO-RESPONSE

Dear Friend, Family Member, Loved One, and/or Business Associate:
Thank you for your e-mail, which, if it is under three (3) sentences long, I have read. Owing to the large volume of e-mails Iím receiving at this time, please note that it will sometimes take up to fourteen (14) calendar days, though sometimes longer (and sometimes much longer), to respond to your e-mail; in the interim, please rest assured that I am attempting to address, resolve, or think about the matter you have described, unless, of course, Iím avoiding the matter entirely…

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2010/10/25/101025sh_shouts_marks

Also recent and recommended in the same section:

The Pope’s Tweets
God’s Blog
and the fiendishly funny Text Slang for Baby Boomers