Cleaning up my mail after travel is always an experience. This time three messages in a row seem to have some sort of relationship — not necessarily one with me though.

First, we are all alerted of and invited to the Durham Zombie Lurch with this note:

“There’s nothing quite like dressing up as a rotting corpse to excuse you from polite, rational, and lady-like behaviour.”
-Annie Smith, Melbourne, Australia

Dear living-impared,

Join us in lurching through the unsuspecting streets of durham as a horde of zombies! Bring your friends, family?anyone who might get a kick out of stalking downtown for brains on october 27, the saturday before halloween.

Here’s the plan:
We’ll meet at 5 p.m. at the parking lot at the corner of foster and seminary streets, across from the piedmont restaurant (401 foster st.)
There will be a pre-lurch gathering at 4:30 p.m. for folks who want help with makeup.

frequently asked zombie questions:

Q: Is this event free/open to the public/all-ages?
A: yes! yes! yes!

Q: Do I need a costume?
A: Not necessarily. If you arrive before 5 p.m., we can help you with makeup, and that’s all you really need (besides a broken-down shuffle) to look like one of the undead. Wear an old shirt that you’ve torn strategically, or just come as you are and be one of our victims.

Q: How far will we lurch?
A: About 1.5 miles roundtrip.

Q: Should I bring my camera?
A: Definitely bring your camera!

Q: What else should I bring?
A: You might want to stash a little cash and your ID in your pocket in case you end up at one of durham’s fine establishments after stumbling through town with your zombie friends.

Q: rain or shine?
Q: rain?? hahahahahahaha!
But yes, even *if* it rains for more than 5 minutes, we’ll brave it — it’s not going to kill us. Since we’re already dead and all.

Q: Are there any rules for the zombie lurch?
A: Well, since you asked:
rotten rules for the zombie lurch
This is for everyone’s safety. Have your own darn lurch if you can’t hang with the nice zombies. We want you to have fun and be able to do this again!

1. We can raise the dead, but not your jail bond. We assume no responsibility or liability for any mishaps that occur during the walk.

2. Be chill, undead ones. The lurch does not qualify as a parade, so please stay on the sidewalks and keep out of traffic. We have made the police aware of the event, and everything’s fine if we keep out of the street. If they ask us to disperse, DO IT, or you’ll be marching down mangum street, if you know what we mean.

3. Always bring a designated victim, and chew with your mouth closed. Don’t attack anyone who isn’t a voluntary victim. That’s what bloody friends are for! Speaking of blood, try your darnedest not to get it on the sidewalk or on windows.

thanks!

And remember, zombies are eat people, too. Zombies like tortles, too

Then thereminist Steve Burnett chimes in with a note about the Raleigh Zombie Walk:

In addition to the earlier zombie lurch in Durham mentioned in Scott’s message that starts at 5pm for about a mile and a half, there is a zombie walk in Raleigh the same day, starting in Moore Square at 7pm.

I found information on this at [the MySpace NC Zombie Walk site].

There’s a zombie makeup clinic in Raleigh Sunday afternoon, details on the page above.

Finally, I find somewhat appropriate or at least topical spam from Fr. M. Humberto Gama of the Portuguese Association of Exorcists:

Honorable

It is with great honor and pleasure that I the President and Founder of the only Portuguese Association of Exorcists located in Fatima, Portugal, wish to introduce to you our goals and objectives in anticipation of your future collaboration with our organization.

In order to familiarize you with the founder I wish to offer you the following curriculum vitae information which will clearly shows my lifelong dedication to this study and cause.

Your past and present interest in this area is of mutual interest and more so to our organization as it is composed of only international professionals in the area and study of Exorcisms.

As a roman Catholic Priest, ordained in the Jesuit Seminary I have now seeked to establish a society where all members would assist and collaborate towards a common goal of continuing study and practicing of this ritual.

We will be promoting the assistance of priests and other practitioners from all religious and non religious sectors in order to provide this much needed and in high demand service to the needed. The society members will be recommended after properly certification from our Society to perform the ritual as it is requested from all parts of the world.

We further intend to hold an annual convention of practitioners in our headquarters in Fatima, Portugal and would be honored to have your presence in this event to be scheduled at a later date.

The International Society of Exorcists, proudly invites you to become a member of this organization and would be very interested in receiving your reply and recommendations as early as possible.

I wish to thank you in advance for accepting this invitation and we are looking forward to meeting with you here in Fatima, Portugal in the very near future.

Best Regards
Fr. M. Humberto Gama
Founding President