Forwarded from many folks, most recently the poet Terri Ford. I am solidly in numbers 3 and 11 (but prefer the Weekly World News):

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country–if they could find the time and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country … or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. None of the above is read by the guy who is running the country into the ground.

3 Responses to “You are the News you read”
  1. Simon Spero says:

    As usual, this is stolen from English folklore

    Jim: I know exactly who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country. The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country. The Times is read by people who actually do run the country. The Daily Mirror is read by the wives of the people who run the
    country. The Financial Times is read by people who own the country. The Morning Star is read by people
    who think the country ought to be run by another country. The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.

    Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about people who read the Sun.

    Bernard: Sun readers don’t care who runs the country as long as she’s got big tits.

    Lynn and Jay, Yes Prime Minister – “A Conflict of Interest”, BBC 1986

  2. Martin Kuhn says:

    Prof. Jones,

    No worries…In copyright law this would be considered a “transformative use” and thus it is not stolen. When you get a chance, check out blogethics2004.blogspot.com. I revised my proposed code of blogging ethics and got some good (if critical) feedback from Rebecca Blood. I hope the conversation about blog ethics continues.

    Peace,
    Martin Kuhn

  3. Paul Jones says:

    Simon,
    Like Streets of Laredo, songs and stories are better after crossing the Atlantic. Some may even say that about you.
    You could say the British version of the news joke is better since it involves at least two boobs, whilst the American version ends with only one.

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