Subject: Real Killer Bees

From: [email-masked] (-verville d.f.)
Date: Thu, 15 Sep 1994 17:56:21 GMT

BUZZ-ERK!
BEES INVADE PENTAGON COMPUTER-& ALMOST START WORLD WAR III

By Charles George/ Correspondent
  The United States has been pushed to the brink of nuclear war
three times in the past month- thanks to beehives inside high-
security Pentagon computers!
  The bees have caused malfunctions in the computers that have sent
U.S. troops scurrying all over the globe, ordered missiles transported
back and forth across Europe and nearly caused WWIII.
  "When we had the first major malfunction, engineers went inside the
banks of computers and tried to clear out the hives," one Pentagon
insider said.
  "But apparently there were more bees inside and quite frankly we're
still not sure we've gotten them all."
  "We're afraid the bees entered through an air-conditioning vent and
have been breeding inside the computer for several months. And it's
possible more bees could be entering every day."
  The gigantic master computers at the Pentagon control the movements
of American troops and military arms all over the world.
  During the most serious malfunction last week nuclear weapons came
within a nerve frying 57 seconds of being launched. "The computers are
designed to guard against human error and indecision in time of 
emergency."
  "They are preset to respond to very specific conditions around the
world," revealed the insider, who asked to remain anonymous.
  "There are built in safe-guards against malfunctions but with 
computers there's always the possibility something can go wrong."
  "And with an outside influence like these bees on the computer
hardware, anything can happen."
  Alert Pentagon officials were able to abort the nuclear-weapon
launches each time the computers ordered them but in other cases some
false orders were carried out.
  The most bizarre incident came when thosands of troops stationed in
Europe went on red alert and prepared to storm into Hungary to avert
an Iraqi invasion.
  "Of course, there was no such invasion but the computer reacted as
if there were," the secret source said.
  "The computer made the orders and the first steps for defensive
invasion were carried out."
  In other instances a ship was ordered to sail 1,500 miles from its
correct position in the Pacific Ocean and hundreds of troops at one
East Coast base were wrongly promoted to the rank of sergeant.
  "We have come to depend on these computers but they are far from
being foolproof," he said. "Their mistakes have come very close to
getting us in serious trouble."
>From the Weekly World News

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From: rspear@sookit (Richard Spear)
Date: 15 Sep 1994 20:28:59 GMT

> have been breeding inside the computer for several months ... "
            ^^^^^^^^
Not exactly the way that I think bees reproduce ... bad choice of words or
ignorance on the part of the reporter, eh?

regards, richard

[email-masked]

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From: [email-masked] (H L. Falls)
Date: Fri, 16 Sep 1994 12:58:06 GMT

In article <[email-masked]>,
>[email-masked]
   Not to mention that while some of the early vaccuum tube computers 
did have to be literally "de-bugged" from time to time, modern chips
would probably short out completely and crash the system rather than
cause the errors described (caveat -- I'm not a hardware expert, I
could be wrong on this).  Of course with a Weekly World News byline,
any resemblance to actual events is not only coincidental, it's 
contrary to the paper's reporting policy!  :-)

--Landon Falls / [email-masked] -- Speaking for, and only for, myself.

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From: [email-masked] (John Fulkerson)
Date: 16 Sep 94 23:18:45 GMT

Richard Spear (rspear@sookit) wrote:
: > "We're afraid the bees entered through an air-conditioning vent and
: > have been breeding inside the computer for several months ... "
:             ^^^^^^^^
: Not exactly the way that I think bees reproduce ... bad choice of words or
: ignorance on the part of the reporter, eh?

: regards, richard
When you look at the source, _Weekly World News_, you know there may be        
entertainment value, but not much substance. Of course, you could describe
"BS" as a substance, I guess.

Not a spokesperson nor opinion-spouter for my employer.

: [email-masked]