Subject: Re: biology jokes

From: [email-masked] (L'homme de Stallionne!)
Date: Sat, 9 Sep 1995 18:51:12 GMT

Re: Bio jokes.  There were two trees growing up in a forest, one was  
a birch the other was a beech. They got along well together until one
year a sappling grew up between them. One said it was a son of a birch
the other said it was a son of a beech. They couldn't agree, so they
decided to ask an expert. This woodpecker flew by and they decided to
ask it if the sappling was a son of a birch or a son of a beech. The
woodpecker flew down and came back up so they asked it if it was a s of 
a birch or a s of a beech. Well the woodpecker said it isn't a son of 
a birch and it isn't a son of a beech, it's the hardest ash I ever stuck 
my pecker into.
-- 
Eventually, Dans parents learned to deal with their sons mental deficiency
and accepted that he would probably never amount to anything more than a 
bus driver or CS major at the University of Waterloo.
.........................................................................

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From: [email-masked] (John Sargeant)
Date: Sun, 10 Sep 1995 20:25:49 +0000

In article <[email-masked]>,
[email-masked] (Mike Jenson) wrote:

> Hello all,
> 
> I'm giving a speech to a group of incoming graduate students soon and was 
> hoping to use some jokes that involve biology/biologists.  Anyone out there 
> have any good ones?
> 
> Thanks,
> Mike

Here is one that I half invented myself, but I can't find a puchline for

"what is the difference between a plant scientist and a vegetable scientist..."

There must be a great punchline if only we can think of one.  Mike W.

[email-masked]

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From: thorburn@.xyplex.com (Gary Thorburn)
Date: 11 Sep 1995 15:58:13 GMT

Q:  What do you call it when someone tries to take a dead animal
    onto a plane?

A:  Carrion luggage.  

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/****
*  Gary W. Thorburn
*  reply address:  [email-masked]
****/

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From: [email-masked] (waber)
Date: Mon, 11 Sep 1995 00:15:45 -0600

>[email-masked]

Interesting, but might it be more interesting to say a fruit scientist 
and a vegetable scientist?:)

peace, love, happiness, imagination
Mona

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From: [email-masked]
Date: Tue, 12 Sep 1995 14:34:39 GMT

My apologies if anyone is offended by this:

What does the "H" in Jesus H. Christ stand for?  Haploid.

In article <[email-masked]>, <[email-masked]> 
writes:
> Path: 
serval.net.wsu.edu!news.clark.edu!spool.mu.edu!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!news.mathwork
s.com!tank.news.pipex.net!pipex!sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk!news.cc.ic.ac.uk!cplm1.bc.
ic.ac.uk!user
> From: [email-masked] (John Sargeant)
> Newsgroups: sci.bio.botany
> Subject: Re: biology jokes
> Date: Sun, 10 Sep 1995 20:25:49 +0000
> Organization: Imperial College, London, UK
> Lines: 19
> Message-ID: <[email-masked]>
> References: <[email-masked]>
> NNTP-Posting-Host: cplm1.bc.ic.ac.uk
>

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From: [email-masked] (c. richter)
Date: Tue, 12 Sep 1995 23:24:42 GMT

>What does the "H" in Jesus H. Christ stand for?  Haploid.

Why is parsley like pubic hair?   You set it aside and eat.

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From: Nelson Ing <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 15 Sep 1995 23:01:53 GMT

Q: Did you hear about the biologist who had twins?

A: He used one as a control...

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From: [email-masked] (waber)
Date: Fri, 15 Sep 1995 18:56:54 -0600

>A: He used one as a control...

Oooh.  That's nasty.:)  Has this one already been done?

Why out of so many million sperm does only one make it to the egg?

None of them will stop to ask directions.