Conflict Resolution |
Conflict Resolution and Mediation in potentially volatile situationsVerbal Judo Tips Verbal judo contrasts with karate in that it is a way to re-direct hostile energy. In essence you are saying - “I understand that, although…” The general idea is to first accept, and then analyze. L.E.A.P.S. summarizes the basic principles for conflict resolution. Listen
Tangents Tangents: Try to make sure the person's issue comes across as important. However, if you need to re-direct, jump in and out of the conversation with tangents. A tangent would be changing the subject to a topic that is less volatile. Tactics for bridging/defusing extreme conflict Explain the policy, and present multiple options – including one that might appeal to the person (people like choices).
Paraphrasing / Summarizing It’s all about paraphrasing and summarizing. Risk of Physical Confrontation If there is risk of physical confrontation - stand at an angle to the student rather than directly facing them (confrontational) Verbal Judo Videos
Tips for verbally handling conflict: • Active listening: Make sure you are paying attention and actively trying to understand what the person is saying. It's important to make eye contact, identify the emotions and ask open-ended questions. People can tell when you are not listening, and it negatively affects their emotions. Remember that changes cannot be retroactive. You can, however, change the future with your behaviour - and choices - from here on out. http://www.creducation.org/resources/CR_Guidelines_and_10_CR_lessons_FCPS.pdf WebsitesThis website has articles, videos, and blogs about how to handle conflict in tense situations.
"When someone is attacking you verbally, moving into active listening mode is usually the most useful response you can make...to reduce the emotionality of a situation. Every time you correctly label an emotion the other person is feeling, the intensity of it dissipates." Don't defend yourself at this point (think of the phrase - for them to change I must change). Make sure that the other person feels heard and expresses their emotions. Acknowledge their side by saying something like "I can see why you are so upset". Once you have drawn them out - the heat leaves the conversation and you can move towards a solution.
Conflict Resolution - Resolving Conflict Rationally and Effectively from Mind Tools Step 1: Make sure the problem is understood (Restate. Paraphrase. Summarize.) Step 2: Gather Information - ask for the other person's viewpoint. Listen with empathy and make sure to use "I" statements. Step 3: Agree the Problem - make sure everyone has the same understanding of what the disagreement or problem is actually about. Step 4: Brainstorm Possible Solutions Step 5: Negotiate a Solution
A list of ways to deal with conflict in the moment. Links to other websites Important highlights:
Joshua Wiss's THIRD SIDE INVENTORY Focuses on roles people may play during conflict.
Quick reference: Types of conflict and how to handle themChart of types of conflict and how to handle it from MIT The third side is the ability to take a viewpoint of the larger community rather than siding with either the first party or the second party.
Videos (streaming)Conflict mediation youtube videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glkfZNXKlw Presentation by a therapist about interpersonal conflict and body language (in terms of moving toward rather than away from conflict). Focuses in part on a group conflict. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xCkhV7zhuw A humorous, anecdotal presentation (on stage) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSGy5yvC0hM This film is informal, recorded by a professor in their office, and reviews the STABEN acronym. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcLuVeHlrSs TED presentation about education and conflict resolution. (volume issues) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUVmPVKaJzk Pictionary TED talk on mediation (includes many animal puns). Seeing from multiple perspectives is the core of mediation. Dismiss preconceptions about parties in a dispute. Find out what the real situation is. Be mindful of language barrier misunderstandings. Let silence lead to reflection in conflict resolution. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99CRW-bD37Y A story of survival focusing on intense Vietnam war memories, and his family's escape attempt. Segues to his life as a teen in America. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyhOT3jCcR4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1R84-5DYEA
Conflict Negotiation videos https://www.ted.com/talks/william_ury?language=en The third side is the ability to take a viewpoint of the larger community rather than siding with either the first party or the second party. https://www.ted.com/talks/john_hunter_on_the_world_peace_game https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjlPgJ1wBdM Search terms: Conflict management (tends to pull more results on global conflict or business conflict/management), conflict negotiation, conflict resolution.
BooksCrum, T.F. (1998). The magic of conflict: Turning a life of work in to a work of art (2nd ed.). New York: Simon & Schuster. ISBN 0684854481. Fisher, R., Ury, W.L; & Patton, B. (2011). Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in (3rd ed.). New York: Penguin. ISBN 9780143118756. Lederach, J. (2003). Little Book of Conflict Transformation. Pennsylvania: Good Books. ISBN 1561483907. Moore, C. W. (2003). The mediation process: Practical strategies for resolving conflict (3rd ed.). New York: Wiley. ISBN 0787964468. Ury, W. (1993). Getting past no: Negotiating your way from confrontation to cooperation. New York: Bantam. ISBN 0553371312.
Ice Breakers and Lesson PlansIce breakers and lesson plans on diversity and conflict resolution Scannell, M. (2010). The Big Book of Conflict Resolution Games. Retrieved from http://www.institutik.cz/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/The-big-book-of-conflict-resolution-games.pdf
Online CoursesUSIP online course - Introduction to Conflict Analysis Negotiation and Conflict Management from MIT
PacifismConflict scenario begins around minute 6. Minute 14:00 discussion on meditation and Gandhi as a way to remain calm. Minute 19 the missing persona of strong and kind in society.
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