Subject: Found in Gloria (apologies to those who get this again)
From: Richard Lamson <rsl at SPA-Nimbus>
To: Info-Cobol at mc
Date: Tuesday, 3 May 1983, 19:23-PDT

Real Programmers Don't Write Specs
 
Real Programmers don't write specs -- users should consider themselves
lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
 
Real Programmers don't comment their code.  If it was hard to write,
it should be hard to understand.
 
Real Programmers don't write application programs; they program right
down on the bare metal.  Application programming is for feebs who
can't do systems programming.
 
Real Programmers don't eat quiche.  In fact, real programmers don't
know how to SPELL quiche. They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan food.
 
Real Programmers don't write in COBOL.  COBOL is for wimpy
applications programmers.
 
Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time.  But if
you throw them on the machine they can be patched into working in
"only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions.
 
Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN.  FORTRAN is for pipe stress
freaks and crystallography weenies.
 
Real Programmers never work 9 to 5.  If any real programmers are
around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.
 
Real Programmers don't write in BASIC.  Actually, no programmers write
in BASIC, after the age of 12.
 
Real Programmers don't write in PL/I.  PL/I is for programmers who
can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
 
Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires
you to change clothes.  Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers
wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly
spring up in the middle of the machine room.
 
Real Programmers don't document.  Documentation is for simps who can't
read the listings or the object deck.
 
Real Programmers don't write in PASCAL, or BLISS, or ADA, or any of
those pinko computer science languages.  Strong typing is for people
with weak memories.

				-- From Peter Capek @ YKTVMV
				   via Mark Seiden @ dagobah
  **==> That was James Gosling's plan file.