Subject: ADMIN: The Rumpolean FAQ

From: [email-masked] (Steve Masticola)
Date: 1 Apr 94 09:10:03 GMT

The Rumpolean FAQ

Most recently revised on this, the twenty-sixth day of July, in the
year of our Lord nineteen hundred and ninety-three.  All information
here subject to immediate refutation, repudiation, and regurgitation.

Changes:

- Minor changes to the "Old Bailey" description and Rumpole's write-up.

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	Partially Asked List of Partially Answered Questions:
	-----------------------------------------------------

The following questions are loitering in Chambers, waiting for a
brief, and will be there until someone answers them. At that time,
they will be promoted to FAQs.

- Rumpolean Trivia and Non-Trivia:

	* When was the last time Uncle Tom had a case? (I remember
	   vaguely that he managed to lose an uncontested divorce...) 
	* What were Rumpole's early triumphs at court, and when were they?
	  E.g., the Penge Bungalow Murders (1936?)
	* Did John Mortimer or his father do anything notable as barristers?
	* Does Horace Rumpole have a middle name?

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	   Fully Asked List of Somewhat Answered Questions:
	   ------------------------------------------------

Q. Who is this Rumpole character, anyway?

A. For those who don't know Rumpole, he is an "Old Bailey hack," a
portly, irreverent barrister given to red plonk wine, small cigars,
and spouting poetry. His abrasiveness, his taste for defending
criminals (rather than prosecuting, or some more prestigious law
practice), and his sheer devious skill at extracting justice from a
truculent world, have stunted his career -- and left him doing exactly
the work he loves, and does so well. His credo: "Never plead guilty!"

John Mortimer, a practicing barrister himself, originally wrote
"Rumpole" as a series of short stories. These were later produced in
England as a television series starring Leo McKern, who fits the role
like a glove. The Rumpole TV episodes have been shown in the U.S. in
the PBS series, "Mystery."

Q. Who's Leo McKern?

A. The actor who plays Rumpole, and, after many episodes, a friend of
John Mortimer. He's done a _lot_ of movies and TV; some of his
better-known credits include "The Omen," "King Lear," "The Blue
Lagoon," "Candleshoe," and of course, his role as Number Two in "The
Prisoner."  Here's his bio from Cinemania, Microsoft's database of
movies:

Leo McKern (1920 -    )
Occupation:     Actor
Birth Name:     Reginald McKern
Born:   March 16, 1920, Sydney, Australia

In England since 1946. Popular character player of stage, TV and
film, often in garrulous, blustery roles.

Q. Who is "She Who Must Be Obeyed," and where did the phrase come
from?

A. Rumpole covertly refers to his wife, Hilda, as "She Who Must Be
Obeyed," "She," or "S.W.M.B.O."  The phrase is from H. Rider Haggard's
adventure novel, "She".  The title character, Ayesha, Queen of Kor, is
known to her subjects as SWMBO.

Q. How did Rumpole meet She?

A. Hilda Rumpole was originally Hilda Wystan, the daughter of C. H.
Wystan, the head of Rumpole's chambers when he first began practicing.
Rumpole has described the senior Wystan as a competent civil lawyer,
but one who had "no head for bloodstains." Hilda often compares
Rumpole unfavorably to "Daddy," much to Rumpole's chagrin.

Q. What's the difference between a barrister and a solicitor?

A. Barristers, those who have "passed the bar," may argue cases in
court. (There are situations in which solicitors may also appear in
some courts, but barristers have wider privileges.) To be an English
barrister, you have to be a member of one of the five Inns of Court -
Inner Temple, Middle Temple, Lincoln's, Gray's or the Inn of Court for
Northern Ireland. (See "Rumpolean Trivia" below for more details about
the Inns of Court, and the origins of the term, "barrister.")

So, then, what's a solicitor? At one time in English history (when?),
busy barristers hired folks to solicit business for them. Later, these
"solicitors" began doing much the front work prior to litigation,
especially in civil law.  Over time, this relationship changed.  Now,
an accused or injured person hires (and pays) a solicitor to handle
legal affairs.  If the solicitor feels litigation is called for, he
hires a barrister to argue the case.

The solicitor pays the barrister--the barristers are at complete
mercy, financially, of the solictors who bring them cases.  If the
solicitors don't like you, or if they aren't good at paying, you could
find yourself like Rumpole, a "Distinguished member of the Bar" who is
always broke! Vincent Price, the host of "Mystery!" at the time,
explained this well introducing the first episode of Rumpole (in
1981!), and further explained it in an episode dealing with Rumpole
trying to collect from his solicitors.

Q. What is the Old Bailey?

A. The Central Criminal Court of London, so named for an adjoining
street whose name is chiseled into the sandstone of the building. It
is really just a Crown Court, along with the Inner London Sessions and
Ipswich Crown Court (to take a few random examples). It does, however,
get the most serious criminal cases that occur in England and Wales
(not Scotland or Northern Ireland). More on the Old Bailey in the
Rumpolean Trivia, below.

Q. What does "taking silk" mean?

A. Being promoted to a QC, by the Lord Chancellor. QCs are appointed
from those barristers who have had roughly 10-15 years of experience.
Taking silk is really just a process of specialising in litigation
rather than the background work on cases. It is an indication of
success at the Bar, carries with it higher fees and status, and is a
prerequisite to a judgeship.

A "silk" is so called because he (or she) wears a silken gown,
knee-britches, and stockings.

Q. What's a QC?

A. A QC, or "Queen's Counsel," is a barrister who has taken silk. See
above. Note that the title would change to "KC" if a King were
crowned.

Rumpole views QCs with some disdain; to him, they are "Queer
Customers." What he would say about KCs is anyone's guess.

Q. Is Rumpole a silk?

A. No. For some reason, he either never applied for silk or was passed
over. Perhaps it's because he always defended criminal cases (rather
than taking more prestigious civil work.)  Despite his age and
experience, this technically makes him a "junior barrister."

See "Rumpole and the Heavy Brigade" for the tale of _Hilda's_ attempt
to get Rumpole a silk dressing-gown!

Q. Occasionally, the silks in Rumpole's chambers take it upon
themselves to "lead" him (much to his irritation, and usually to their
regret.) Is this a matter of rank?

A. No. Solicitors hire barristers, and decide whether or not a silk is
necessary. The silk has no say, because he cannot suddenly thrust
himself onto a case and expect to be paid.

Of course, the client has some say, but will likely act on the advice
of the solicitor. The solicitor and the silk can try to convince the
client that a silk is needed for the job.

Q. What's a QC MP (as in Guthrie Featherstone?)

A. QC MP stands for Queen's Counsel, Member of Parliament. The two
titles are separate. MP is an elective title; a QC would have to stand
for election to Parliament to become an MP as well. For further
details, see the "Rumpolean Trivia" below.

Q. How is Chambers organized?

A. Legal Chambers are essentially equivalent to an American law
office. A group of barristers share quarters, contacts with
solicitors, clerical and research help, etc. Within the Chambers,
barristers have traditionally acted as freelancers, though there are
currently forces acting to change this (see "Rumpole and the Summer of
Discontent.")

The Head of Chambers is elected by the residents, and is traditionally
(to judge from RotB) the most senior member of Chambers, except that a
QC outranks a junior barrister.  The Head of Chambers runs meetings
and has office manager duties; in particular, he can hire and fire the
clerks. See the incident where Ballard tried to fire Henry over a 50
pound check he supposedly pilfered. (Which episode?) From the Rumpole
stories, one might also conclude that the Head of Chambers has no
other particular duties beyond holding adjudicating disputes among
members of Chambers and throwing the occasional dull party.

The Head Clerk (pronounced "clark" in Britain) handles the business
details of the Chambers. Solicitors contact barristers through him,
pass briefs through him, pay barristers through him (after he takes
his 10% cut). Because the clerk has some control over which barristers
get which briefs, Rumpole makes special efforts to be kind to the
clerk of his Chambers, Henry, and buys him drinks at Pommeroy's
regularly.

Q. Rumpole is the most senior barrister in his Chambers (with the
possible exception of Uncle Tom.) Why isn't he the Head of Chambers?

A. He was under serious consideration for it when his father-in-law,
C. H. Wystan, retired. But Guthrie Featherstone took silk, and Wystan
recommended Featherstone over Rumpole. Rumpole wanted the job, and the
fact that he was passed over also rankled him. (Rumpole and the
Younger Generation)

Q. Why does Rumpole call Phillida Erskine-Brown (nee' Trant),
"Portia?"

A. Because the character Portia, in Shakespeare's "The Merchant of
Venice," dons legal garb and pretends to be a (male) lawyer while
pleading for clemency for another character, who owes Shylock a pound
of flesh.  Shylock is suing for the flesh, which was the collateral
for a loan.  Her speech is the source of the famous quotation "The
quality of mercy is not strained..."

Q. Where can I find others who share my irrational fixation on this
funny little man?

A. You can write to the Rumpole Society at the following address:

		Rumpole Society
		P.O.Box 906
		San Mateo, CA 94404
		U.S.A.

Membership dues are US$20 per year. It's a lot cheaper than a
psychiatrist. :-)

Q. What are the Rumpolean Lists?

A. A separate posting, containing lists of things judged by the harsh
jury of Internet opinion ("They Who Must Be Obeyed") to be too boring
to put in the FAQ. In particular, the Rumpolean Lists include:

	- John Clifford Mortimer bibliography.
	- List of Rumpole stories and the books in which they were
	  published.
	- The contents of the First and Second Rumpole Omnibus.
	- Leo McKern filmography.
	- "Rumpole of the Bailey" actor and episode lists.
	- Contributors to the FAQ and Lists.

Q. Where did you get all this stuff, anyway?

A. Check out "The Rumpolean Lists" for the names and email addresses
of those who contributed information. Several of these people have had
personal experience at the English bar, so it may even be accurate in
some cases :-)

Q. Why isn't the group called, "alt.tv.rumpole?"

A. Since Horace Rumpole has been in many short stories and at least
one novella, as well as television, "alt.tv.rumpole" just wouldn't do
the old boy justice.

Q. How do I get something into the FAQ?

A. If it's a question, mail it in and I'll put it in the Partially
Asked List. If it's information, post it with the acronym "FAQ" in the
title. After a suitable trial by flame, I'll include it if nobody
refutes it. Please don't just mail it to me; I'd rather have it
verified than put it in and get flamed if it's wrong.

			   RUMPOLEAN TRIVIA
			   ----------------

* Over the Old Bailey is inscribed, "Defend the Children of the Poor
and Punish the Wrongdoer." This is most appropriate for Rumpole, who
makes his living defending the children of the poor.

* The Old Bailey also has the odd distinction of being mentioned in a
nursery rhyme, of all things:

	Oranges and lemons,
	Say the bells of St. Clement's.
	You owe me five farthings,
	Say the bells of St. Martin's.
	When will you pay me?
	Say the bells of Old Bailey.
	When I grow rich,
	Say the bells of Shoreditch.
        When will that be,
        Say the bells of Stepney.
        I'm sure I don't know,
        Says the great bell at Bow.

Which concludes, eerily:

	Here comes a candle to light you to bed,
	Here comes a chopper to chop off your head.

There are a lot of versions of "Oranges and Lemons;" it's an old rhyme
and it's mutated over the centuries. There's a childrens' game that
goes along with the rhyme, somewhat akin to "pass the parcel."  

The above version of "Oranges and Lemons" is given in THE OXFORD
DICTIONARY OF NURSERY RHYMES. The OXFORD DICTIONARY also tells of a
possible violent hidden meaning:

" The execution formula has been seen by some folk-lorists as a relic
of the gory past, and origins of the nature of those linked with
`London Bridge is falling down' have been suggested. The days of
public executions have been cited, when the condemned were led along
the street to the accompaniment of the tolling of bells. It has also
been suggested that the words refer to Henry VIII's many marriages and
the speedy demise of some of his wives. Whether or not the terminating
lines have special significance, they do not appear in the song's
earliest recording... "

* "Oyez" is the last remaining vestage of the French verb "ouir",
meaning "to listen."  "Ouir" was still used in the time of Cyrano de
Bergerac.

* In England, the bailiff calls, "Be upstanding," announcing the
judge's entry into the courtroom. (The American equivalent is, "All
rise.") The former is a better admonition for the members of the Court
and the jury, who are presumed to be upstanding citizens, and are
called upon to stand up for justice.

* Well, we now have a definitive answer on how the terms "barrister,"
"passing the bar," etc. originated. From the _Oxford English
Dictionary:_

_Inns of Court:_ the four sets of buildings in London (the Inner
Temple, the Middle Temple, Lincoln's Inn, and Gray's Inn) belonging to
the four legal societies which have the exclusive right of admitting
persons to practise [sic] at the bar, and hold a course of instruc-
tion and examination for that purpose; hence, these four societies
themselves>

_Bar:_ (in the Inns of Court) [definition 24, OED, vol 1, p. 941] A
barrier or partition separating the seats of the benchers or readers
from the rest of the hall, to which students, after they had attained
a certain standing, were 'called' from the body of the hall, for the
purpose of taking a principal part in the meetings or exercises of the
house. Obs. See "Barrister."  Hence the phrases: to be called to the
bar: to be admitted a barrister. to be cast over the bar: to deprive
of the status of a barrister, to disbar; generally, to reject.
	After 1600, when utter-barristers, as well as sergeants and
apprentices-at-law were allowed to plead in the law-courts, "bar" in
these phrases seems to have been popularly assumed to mean the bar in
a court of justice, outside of which ordinary barristers appear to
plead, while King's Counsel and Sergeants-at-Law have places within
it.  Hence the modern phrase <to be called within the bar>: to be
appointed King's (or Queen's) Counsel.

_Barrister:_ Probably from the Latin "barrasterius." A student of the
law, who, having been called to the bar, has the privilege of
practising as advocate in the superior courts of law.  The former
title is <barrister-at-law>; the equivalent designation in Scotland is
<advocate>.
	The name originated in the ancient internal arrangements of
the Inns of Court.  But by 1600, it was currently associated with the
bar of the courts of justice, at which utter-barristers had before
that date secured the right to plead, formerly possessed only by
sergeants and apprentices-at-law.

[In addition, "utter-barristers" are so called because they sit
uttermost on the forms which are called the bar, and this degree is
the chiefest..this was in 1545]

We owe Randy Cox a bottle of Pommeroy's plonk (see below) for this bit
of research!

* Before one is called to the Bar, in adddition to the examinations,
one has to dine a certain number of times in one's Inn.  Not enough
dining? Then no call to the Bar!  This is a relic from the past, when
the ONLY requirement was dining.

* In addition to becoming a QC MP, a QC can also aspire to becoming a
Privy Councillor. This is an appointed, not an elected, position.
There is some room for confusion here, as a lot of Privy Councillors
are MPs, but not all. In fact, the Privy Council is an older body
which has really been superseded by Parliament for all practical
purposes.  

Even the rubric at the start of an Act of Parliament --

"Be it enacted by the Queen's most excellent majesty, by and with the
advice and consent of the Lords Spiritual and Temporal, and Commons,
in this present Parliament assembled, as follows:"

-- has replaced the Privy Council by Parliament.  (The Lords Spiritual
are the bishops of the Church of England, and the Lords Temporal are
hereditary peers and appointed life peers.)

The judicial function of the Privy Council reposes in the Judicial
Committee of the Privy Council - composed of Privy Councillors who
hold/have held high judicial office.  They are the highest appellate
court for certain commonwealth countries.  The number of countries
where this is so is decreasing, due to the cost of taking an appeal to
London.

Decisions of the Privy Council are not technically binding in English
law, but they are highly persuasive; the Judicial Committee of the
Privy Council contains the "Law Lords," who also sit in the House of
Lords.

* Normally, being an MP would disqualify one from being a judge, since
they are (theoretically) politically neutral. But Guthrie Featherstone
made it... 

Featherstone must be an exceptional jurist; to the knowledge of the
a.f.r. group, only one other person in recent legal history has been
an MP and then a judge. He was Lord Hailsham, the ex-Lord Chancellor.
His career was very funny, since he began as a hereditary peer, gave
it up and became an MP, and was then appointed a life peer and made
Lord Chancellor.

But although the Lord Chancellor is technically a Lord of Appeal in
Ordinary (the highest rank in the judiciary) he doesn't normally sit
on cases, and restricts himself to the running of the system. So
Featherstone J., as a sitting judge, is even more unusual...

Note that, in "Rumpole and the Rotten Apple," Featherstone is
described as a "Commissioner of Assize, or type of part-time judge."
This may mitigate his achievement somewhat.

* "Plonk" originally meant "a cheap white wine," from an English
mispronunciation of the French "blanc."  It has come to mean any cheap
wine. Rumpole mentions that he drinks it, " because it is all that I
can afford."

* Claret, a.k.a. "Chateau Fleet Street" or "Chateau Thames
Embankment," is technically Bordeaux wine. Bordeaux are generally
blends based on Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot. Most of the claret
admired by the English is from individual estates, many of which have
several centuries of winemaking traditions. The English are said to
particularly enjoy clarets because they complement beef and lamb
dishes (both of which are popular in English cuisine), and because it
requires aging, and is thus in keeping with the English love of
tradition.

Other Europeans occasionally ridicule the English for their taste for
claret, because there are so many other good wines available, and also
because (supposedly) nobody else ages wine as long as the British.
It's said that the French drink bordeaux too soon out of impatience,
the British drink it too late out of stodginess, and the Americans
drink it at the right time out of ignorance. (From this, ladies and
gentlemen of the jury, we must conclude that wine snobbery knows no
national boundaries. :-)

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This concludes the Rumpolean FAQ. Be upstanding, and, of course,

		N E V E R   P L E A D   G U I L T Y !