Subject: ~{TuQyGx7V2;M,5D<FKc;zSoQT~}

From: [email-masked] (Jiashun Liu)
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1993 22:38:35 GMT

In article <[email-masked]> [email-masked] (Yu Fu) writes:
>In article <[email-masked]> [email-masked] (XiaoFei Wang) writes:
>>/* [email-masked] (Yu Fu) wrote */:
>>请问ＢＡＳＩＣ有没有一个标准？
>>比如ＦＯＲＴＲＡＮ，俺有一本

最近不少人在谈论计算机语言
以下一段会有助于你区分不同语言的特点
非常遗憾没有能力将其译成中文

The proliferation of modern programming languages which seem to have stolen
countless features from each other sometimes makes it difficult to remember
which language you are using.  This guide is offered as a public service to
help programmers in such dilemmas.

C:        You shoot yourself in the foot.

Assembly: You crash the OS and overwrite the root disk.  The system
	  administrator arrives and shoots you in the foot.  After
	  a moment of contemplation, the administrator shoots himself
	  in the foot and then hops around the room rabidly shooting
	  at everyone in sight.

APL:      You hear a gunshot, and there is a hole in your foot, but you
	  do not remember enough linear algebra to understand what the
	  hell happened.

C++:      You accidently create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot
	  them all in the foot.  Providing emergency medical care is 
	  impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and
	  which are just pointing at others and saying, "that's me,
	  over there."

Ada:      If you are dumb enough to actually use this language, the United
	  States Department of Defense will kidnap you, stand you up in
	  front of a firing squad, and tell the soldiers, "Shoot at his feet."

MODULA-2  After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in
	  the language, you shoot yourself in the head.

Pascal:   Same as Modula-2, except the bullets are the wrong type and won't
	  pass through the barrel.  The gun explodes.

sh, csh. etc: You can't remember the syntax for anything, so you spend
	  five hours reading man pages before giving up.  You then shoot
	  the computer and switch to C.

smalltalk: You spend so much time playing with the graphics and windowing
          system that your boss shoots you in the foot, takes away your
	  workstation, and makes you develop in COBOL on a character terminal.

FORTRAN:  You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of
	  toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat.  If you run out
	  of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-
	  processing ability.

ALGOL:    You shoot yourself in the foot with a musket.  The musket is 
	  esthetically fascinating, and the wound baffles the adolescent
	  medic in the emergency room.

COBOL:    USEing a COLT45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place
	  ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER, and SQUEEZE.  THEN return
	  HANDGUN to HOLSTER.  Check whether shoelace needs to be retied.

BASIC:    Shoot self in foot with water pistol.  On big system, continue
	  until entire lower body is waterlogged.

PL/I:     You consume all available system resources, including all the
	  offline bullets.  The Data Processing & Payroll Department doubles
	  its size, triples its budget, acquires four new mainframes, and
	  drops the original one on your foot.

SNOBOL:   You grab your foot with your hand, then rewrite your hand to be
	  a bullet.  The act of shooting the original foot then changes
	  your hand/bullet into yet another foot (a left foot).

LISP:           You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
          which You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
          which You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
          which You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ...

English:  You put your foot in your mouth, then bite it off.