Subject: Re: Left lane bandits (was Re: Driving Pet peeves)

From: "Nathan J. Nagel" <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 13 Jun 1995 22:59:09 -0400

Excerpts from netnews.rec.autos.driving: 12-Jun-95 Left lane bandits
(was Re: .. by Jeff [email-masked] 
> I've noticed an explosion of idiots here in Southern California lately.
> The Left Lane Bandit* quotient has gotten so high lately that I have had
> to abandon my usual habit of briefly flashing said lane squatters and
> waiting (as patiently as possible) for them to get the clue - the
> latest crop will doggedly sit there and endure it. One has to wonder
> just what is going through their tiny little reptilian brains... Is it
> really possible that they could truly be so totally clueless about lane
> discipline?

    You think that's bad?  The other day I was stuck behind a pathfinder
with the full GangstaChrome treatment....  I pulled up behind, flashed,
moved over to the barrier, and put my left turn signal on....  the guy
looked in his mirror and flicked his left signal as if to say "you
moron, you left your signal on..."  and kept on going! 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!

l8r,

n8r

---

From: [email-masked] (Jeff Tatum)
Date: Mon, 12 Jun 1995 15:46:23 GMT

[email-masked] (Rahim Ryan) writes:
-> Steph Greenberg ([email-masked]) wrote:
-> : Samir Bhakta ([email-masked]) wrote:
-> : : I'm new to this group, so I'm sure some of these have been
-> : : mentioned before.
->
-> : : My pet peeves are:
->
-> : : 1. People who are driving slowly in the left lane of a
-> : : highway, and don't respond to high beam flashing.
->
-> All of those and:
->
-> People in the left lane who realize too late that you're approaching
-> at a high speed, and wait for you to slow down to their speed, before
-> thought registers in their puny brains that they should move to the r

At least _they_ move.

It gets worse.

The result is that I've resigned myself to passing these swine on the
right - not something I like to do, for obvious (safety-related)
reasons.  This act is usually accompanied with some attempt at
communicating my disapproval to the pea-brain-lane-blocker.  Clearly,
running them off the road would be the most satisfying method, but one
has to consider the innocent lives of the people Pinhead would hit when
(s)he loses control.  So I've toned it down to a issuing my best Charlie
Manson glare and mouthed message, usually "How about you get your dumb
ass out of the left lane, you miserable sumbitch".  I figure if they
even get a couple of words, they might get the idea.  Nope.  I guess if
they were that bright they'd not be there in the first place.  The usual
response is self-righteous anger.  Yep, these morons must think it is
their right (and duty?) to plod along and act as a rolling roadblock.

Clearly the problem is one of education.  I propose that lane discipline
be made an integral part of drivers' training.  The Brits don't have
this problem, it shouldn't be hard to figure out why with a bit of
inspection.

Also, why not direct our tax collectors^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hpolice to focus
on these yammerheads for revenue generation rather than speeders.  I
submit that being forced to pass on the right is inherently more
dangerous than, say, driving ten miles per hour over the posted limit.

* ObDefinition:  One would like to think that all readers will take the
time to critically read and understand (in context) this term before
issuing forth with a semi-coherent knee-jerk blast of righteous
indignation in response, but experience tells us otherwise.  Therefore,
I hereby define the term "Left Lane Bandit" as the type of driver that
immediately upon entering the roadway, makes directly for the inside
lane, without any consideration of traffic, speed, whatever, and stays
there.  One can usually spot these nitwits cruising placidly along at
54.99~mph in the fast lane, with any number of empty lanes to the right
of them.  Or in light to medium traffic, sitting with half a mile of
clear road in front of them and ten cars stacked up behind them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
     Jeff Tatum                     [email-masked]
------------------------------------------------------------------------