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Some "Friday Funnies", a bit early



Hi, all!

I got this from a friend, and
liked it so much I wanted to share
it with all of you.  I know work --
and life in general -- can be frustrating
sometimes, and we all could use some humor,
before Friday.  Enjoy!


Subject: REALITY

Love is grand; divorce is a
hundred grand.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember, amateurs built the ark,
Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when
everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds
demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess -
why can't it get us out?

Politicians and diapers have one
thing in common.  They should both
be changed regularly and for the
same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the
best possible world.  A pessimist
fears that this is true.

There is always death and taxes;
however, death doesn't get worse
every year.

People will accept your ideas much
more readily if you tell them that
Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It's easier to fight for one's
principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going nowhere as long
as it's an interesting path.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

In just two days, tomorrow will be
yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator,
never got around to it.

My inferiority complex is not as good
as yours.

I am having an out of money experience.

Practice safe eating - always use
condiments.

A day without sunshine is like night.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets
bad, I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws
would have in-laws.

You're getting old when you get the
same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.

It's frustrating when you know all the
answers, but nobody bothers to ask you
the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only
to say the right thing at the right time,
but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing
at the tempting moment.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but
fat cells live forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes
age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins
to show.

You don't stop laughing because you grow
old, you grow old because you stopped
laughing.


Margaret Monroe

Office Technician (Typing)

California Department of Transportation
Division of Structure Maintenance & Investigations,
Toll Bridges (North)
Room 10-400
P.O. Box 23660
Oakland, CA  94623-0660

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