[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

Death notice - Common sense



OBITUARY NOTICE!

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart failure at the brink of
the millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records
were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life
to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping
folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power
over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as
to know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and
life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not
the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational
trends including body piercing, whole language and "new math." But his
health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-
person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no
match for the ravages of overbearing federal regulation. He watched in pain
as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened
auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero tolerance policies, reports of six year old boys charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of
mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly
student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent
to administer aspirin to a student but cannot inform the parent when the
female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment
than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy
Scouts to professional sports.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept
informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos,
low flow toilets, "smart" guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and
mandatory air bags.

Finally, when told that the homeowners association restricted exterior
furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed his last.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is
survived by three stepbrothers: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner. Not many
attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Best wishes,

Thomas Berry, Archivist
Historical Construction Equipment Association
16623 Liberty Hi Road
Bowling Green, Ohio 43402
Phone 419-352-5616
Fax 419-352-6086
tberry@wcnet.org
http://www.hcea.net

A posting from the Archives & Archivists LISTSERV List!

To subscribe or unsubscribe, send e-mail to listserv@listserv.muohio.edu
      In body of message:  SUB ARCHIVES firstname lastname
                    *or*:  UNSUB ARCHIVES
To post a message, send e-mail to archives@listserv.muohio.edu

Or to do *anything* (and enjoy doing it!), use the web interface at
     http://listserv.muohio.edu/archives/archives.html

Problems?  Send e-mail to Robert F Schmidt <rschmidt@lib.muohio.edu>