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Friday Funnies



For all of you who were depressed by the "Death Notice" I posted yesterday,
here's something a little lighter. Just envision Wile E. Coyote as a
bricklayer. Comments by my brother follow.
 _______________________________________________________

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of
the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.

So here, thanks to John Sedgwick for his Bricklayer's report:

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
#3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone
on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I
had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240
lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I
decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to
the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel
out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You
will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in
Section 3 of the accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I
mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I
had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope,
in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my
weight.

As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations
of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed
to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks
and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I
again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.

Comments:

This has been around forever & turns out to have quite a history. There is
an Irish song version of it that has been recorded several times under the
title "The Bricklayer's Song" or "Why Paddy's not at Work today." I once
read a version of it that radio comic Fred Allen wrote as a letter to his
insurance company that dates from around the early 1950s. There's even an
urban legends website about it at
http://www.snopes2.com/humor/letters/bricks.htm#sightings that traces it
back to at least 1918!

Best wishes,

Thomas Berry, Archivist
Historical Construction Equipment Association
16623 Liberty Hi Road
Bowling Green, Ohio 43402
Phone 419-352-5616
Fax 419-352-6086
tberry@wcnet.org
http://www.hcea.net

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