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HUMOR: AUSTRALIAN THESAURUS OF COMPUTER TERMS



An Ozzie posted the following  to another list that I belong to. It just
continues the language lesson of last week. Everyone have a good weekend.

 THE RURAL AUSTRALIAN THESAURUS OF COMPUTER TERMS

Log On - Make the barbie hotter
Log Off - Don't add any more wood
Monitor - Keeping an eye on the barbie
Download - Get the firewood off the ute
Hard drive - trip back home without any cold tinnies
Floppy Disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once
Keyboard - where you hang the ute, and bike keys
Window - What you shut when it's cold
Screen - What you shut in the mozzie season
Byte - What mozzies do
Bit - What mozzies did
Mega Byte - What Townsville mozzies do
Chip - A bar snack
Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem - What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
Laptop - Where the cat sleeps
Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster
Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart
Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe - What holds the shed up
Web - What spiders make
Web Site - The shed or under the verandah
Cursor - The old bloke down the pub who swears a lot
Search Engine - What you do when the ute won't go
Yahoo - what you say when the ute does go
Upgrade - A steep hill
Server - The person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
Mail Server - The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape - When fish maneuvers out of reach of net
Online - When you get the laundry hung out
Off Line - When the pegs don't hold the washing up


Only in Australia... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Australia...do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their Panadol while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
Only in Australia...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries...and
Diet Coke
Only in Australia...do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counter.
Only in Australia...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway, and store our junk in the garage.
Only in Australia...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process of
Government. "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and
                        "tics" meaning "blood sucking creatures"

Peter A. Kurilecz CRM, CA
Manager, Records Management Group
Woodside Summit Group Inc
Midlothian, Virginia
Office: 804-744-1247 x23
Fax: 804-744-4947
mailto:peter.kurilecz@woodsidesummitgroup.com

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