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Early Friday Funnies



Having a rough week, so I couldn't resist the urge to beat Friday Funnyman
Richard King to the punch.

A transcript from the new answering service recently installed at the Mental
Health Institute:

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are
obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please
ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3,
4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay
on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and
your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic,
listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If
you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press--no one
will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969. If you have a nervous
disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on
the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone
number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press
9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you
have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to
talk to you

Best wishes,

Thomas Berry, Archivist
Historical Construction Equipment Association
16623 Liberty Hi Road
Bowling Green, Ohio 43402
Phone 419-352-5616
Fax 419-352-6086
tberry@hcea.net
http://www.hcea.net

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