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Learning Texas



Title: Learning Texas

(This is by request, and I'm sending it pre-Friday so those who will be in Flagstaff can enjoy.  I'm trying very hard not to have hard feelings about missing a good party.  Or something like that.  --  Holly)

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Okay, it's been four months, and I still feel like I'm on a steep learning curve.  I stop at a quickmart for a snack on the road and find myself getting churritos and something that looks suspiciously like twinkies but I can't pronounce.  The grocery stores carry salsa in gallon containers--and it's not the mild stuff.  If I go down the wrong aisle I can't read the ingredients.  Last Saturday I was going to make a spice cake and figured I'd pick up some cloves since that was the only thing I still needed.  I went to what looked like the spice section in the baking aisle and discovered fajita seasonings, pinto bean seasoning, brisket rub, and there was this stuff I could swear belonged in the pharmacy --doesn't jalapeno salt sound LETHAL enough to be a controlled substance?

Okay, so I'm drinking _lots_ and _lots_ of water.  Not sure if it's the heat which is routinely over 90 these days, or if it's the chips and salsa habit I seem to be picking up--I do what's classified as "Medium" these day.  They tell me it's not hot yet.  Are they talking about the salsa or the thermometer?

I finally got my first electric bill.  I've been here four months.  It's all on one bill and I have two days to pay it.  I can do that--it's no more complicated than the phone complications, etc, I've been dealing with.  But after a long drawn out conversation getting the account put in my name (it's been going to the leasing office who swears they haven't been getting one for this apartment...), and gobs of account numbers, maiden names, historical Texan names (my street is James Bowie--can you believe it?) and the whole disclaimer ending with something like I have the right to legal counsel before having anything turned off, and then she asks me if I want my bill in English or SPANISH.  I can assure you my Spanish isn't adequate for me to have followed the whole transaction in that language.  I wish I could have asked her for a tape of the conversation but alas, she apologised for not being able to tape record the conversation as she was supposed to do.  Her recording machine had just broken.  Her terminal also had to be booted up twice before we could start comparing numbers, etc.  I suppose I should be grateful it only took them four months to figure out where the electricity was going...

I'd have called to ask about why I had electricity, but it seems Texas changed some law about four days before I moved here and instead of two electric service providers for this area I was given a list of thirty companies to call and see if any of them provided service to this address.  I did try calling some.  Mostly I got lost in endless menus and left on hold for over thirty minutes a shot.  And I could only call in the evenings because I had no phone at work until this past month. 

I do now have a phone at work.  My boss, who shares the same office with me, one day inquired ask to why he couldn't reach me on my office phone.  It seems that even though his phone and mine are in the same room, they are in different area codes. 

I don't understand some things about Texas.

(note--due to reasons of sensitivity I have deleted two paragraphs relating to how to dress appropriately for work and the current state of my wardrobe)

I could try to explain the Texas left turn, but I should probably wait until I understand what it is.  I can go into downtown Houston, very carefully, making only right turns, but I still never quite know how I get home.  It's never anything that resembles the way I went.

So, to y'all back east, please enjoy a little bit of home for me,

Holly Hodges
almost Houston

P.S. My ATM card used to remember my name before I entered my PIN.  Now it can't remember what language I speak...