Thank
you for all your comments! I got a good laugh.
To
make amends for my Freudian strip, er, slip, I have raided the old Humor
Vault. I don't remember seeing these on the listserv but it could have
been posted during one of the times I was signed off. Read past the first
one; that was the only one I'd seen before. And a warning: they are
politically-incorrect.
Rebecca Fitzgerald, CA Mt. St. Mary's Archives & Dept. of Special Collections
Mt. St. Mary's College & Seminary
Emmitsburg, MD 21727 301/447-5397 301/447-6868 (fax)
rfitzger@msmary.edu http://www.msmary.edu/studentsandstaff/library/archives.htm
Read to the bottom…
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Subject: Cows
I've seen at
least half a dozen sets of these cow jokes. These are some of the
better:
>
> > > > > CAPITALISM > > > > > > You
have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your > > > herd
multiplies, and > > > the economy grows. You sell them and retire on
the > > > income. > > > > > > AN AMERICAN
CORPORATION > > > > > > You have two cows. You sell one,
and force the other > > > to produce the milk of > > >
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. > > > >
> > A FRENCH CORPORATION > > > > > > You have two
cows. You go on strike because you want > > > three cows. >
> > > > > A JAPANESE CORPORATION > > > >
> > You have no cows. You then create clever cow cartoon > > >
images called Cowkimon > > > and market them World-Wide. >
> > > > > A GERMAN CORPORATION > > > > >
> You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live > > > for
100 years, eat once > > > a month, and milk themselves. > >
> > > > A BRITISH CORPORATION > > > > > >
You have two cows. Both are mad. > > > > > > AN ITALIAN
CORPORATION > > > > > > You have two cows, but you don't
know where they are. > > > You break for lunch. > >
> > > > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION > > > > > >
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have > > > five
cows. You count > > > them again and learn you have >
> > 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 > > >
cows. You stop counting > > > cows and open another bottle of
vodka. > > > > > > A SWISS CORPORATION > >
> > > > You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You > > > charge others for > > > storing them. >
> > > > > AN INDIAN CORPORATION > > > > >
> You have two cows. You worship them. > > > > > > A
CHINESE CORPORATION > > > > > > You have two cows. You
have 300 people milking them. > > > You claim full > > >
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the > > > newsman
who reported > > > the numbers. > > > > > >
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION > > > > > > You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda > > > cute... > >
> > > > ENRON CAPITALISM > > > > > > You
have two cows. You sell three of them to your > > > publicly listed
company, > > > using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law > > > at the bank, then > > > execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general > > > offer so that you
get > > > all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five >
> > cows. The milk rights of > > > the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a > > > Cayman Island company >
> > secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells > > >
the rights to all seven > > > cows back to your listed
company. The annual report > > > says the company owns >
> > eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow > > >
to buy a new president > > > of the United States, leaving
you with nine cows! No > > > balance sheet provided > >
> with the release. The public buys your bull. > > > > >
> ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC > > > > > > You have no cows.
You shred all documents that Enron > > > has any cows, take
two > > > cows from Enron for payment and attest that Enron
has > > > 9cows.
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