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Re: How NOT to conduct a reference interview -- (humor)



JOCASTA NU
The archives are comprehensive and totally secure, my young Jedi. One thing
you may be absolutely
sure of - if an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist!

Interesting theory


Chris Flynn




-----Original Message-----
From: Eric v.d. Luft, Ph.D., M.L.S. [mailto:lufte@MAIL.UPSTATE.EDU]
Sent: Monday, May 20, 2002 12:17 PM
To: ARCHIVES@LISTSERV.MUOHIO.EDU
Subject: How NOT to conduct a reference interview -- (humor)


THE ARCHIVES SCENE FROM STARS WARS, EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES
                  OR:
HOW NOT TO CONDUCT A REFERENCE INTERVIEW


INTERIOR - JEDI TEMPLE, ARCHIVES LIBRARY - DAY

A bronze bust of Count Dooku, stands among a line of other busts of Jedi in
the Archive Room.
OBI-WAN stands in front it, studying the striking features of the chiseled
face. On the walls,
lighted computer panels seem to stretch into infinity. Farther along the
room in the background,
FIVE JEDI are seated at tables, studying archival material. After OBI-WAN
studies the bust for a few
moments before MADAME JOCASTA NU, the Jedi Archivist is standing next to
him. She is an elderly,
frail-looking human Jedi. Tough as old boots and smart as a whip.

JOCASTA NU
Did you call for assistance?

OBI-WAN
(distracted in thought) Yes... yes, I did...

JOCASTA NU
He has a powerful face, doesn't he? He was one of the most brilliant Jedi I
have had the privilege
of knowing.

OBI-WAN
I never understood why he quit. Only twenty Jedi have ever left the Order.

JOCASTA NU
(sighs) The Lost Twenty... and Count Dooku was the most recent and the most
painful. No one likes to talk about it. His leaving was a great loss to the
Order.

OBI-WAN
What happened?

JOCASTA NU
Well, one might say, he was always a bit out of step with the decisions of
the Council... much like
your old Master, Qui-Gon Jinn.

OBI-WAN
(surprised) Really?

JOCASTA NU
Oh, yes. They were alike in many ways. Very individual
thinkers...idealists...

JOCASTA NU stares at the bust

JOCASTA NU
(continuing) He was always striving to become a more powerful Jedi. He
wanted to be the best. With a
lightsaber, in the old style of fencing, he had no match. His knowledge of
the Force was... unique.
In the end, I think he left because he lost faith in the Republic. He
believed that politics were
corrupt, and he felt the Jedi betrayed themselves by serving the
politicians. He always had very
high expectations of government. He disappeared for nine or ten years, then
he just showed up
recently as the head of the separatist movement.

OBI-WAN
Interesting... I'm still not sure I understand.

JOCASTA NU
Well, I'm sure you didn't call me over here for a history lesson. Are you
having a problem, Master
Kenobi?

OBI-WAN
Yes, I'm trying to find a planet system called Kamino. It doesn't seem to
show upon any of the
archive charts.

JOCASTA NU
Kamino? It's not a system I'M familiar with... Let me see...

JOCASTA NU leans over OBI-WAN'S shoulder, looking at the screen.

JOCASTA NU
(continuing) Are you sure you have the right co-ordinates?

OBI-WAN
(nodding) According to my information, it should be in this quadrant
somewhere... just south of the
Rishi Maze.

JOCASTA NU taps the keyboard and frowns.

JOCASTA NU
No co-ordinates? It sounds like the kind of directions you'd get from a
street tout... some old
miner or Furbog trader.

OBI-WAN
All three actually.

JOCASTA NU
Are you sure it exists?

OBI-WAN
Absolutely.

JOCASTA NU
Let me do a gravitational scan.

OBI-WAN and JOCASTA NU stare at the star map hologram.

JOCASTA NU
There are some inconsistencies here. Maybe the planet you're looking for was
destroyed.

OBI-WAN
Wouldn't that be on record?

JOCASTA NU
It ought to be. Unless it was very recent. (shakes her head) I hate to say
it, but it looks like the
system you're searching for doesn't exist.

OBI-WAN
That's impossible... perhaps the archives are incomplete.

JOCASTA NU
The archives are comprehensive and totally secure, my young Jedi. One thing
you may be absolutely
sure of - if an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist!

OBI-WAN stares at her, then looks back at the map.

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A posting from the Archives & Archivists LISTSERV List!

To subscribe or unsubscribe, send e-mail to listserv@listserv.muohio.edu
      In body of message:  SUB ARCHIVES firstname lastname
                    *or*:  UNSUB ARCHIVES
To post a message, send e-mail to archives@listserv.muohio.edu

Or to do *anything* (and enjoy doing it!), use the web interface at
     http://listserv.muohio.edu/archives/archives.html

Problems?  Send e-mail to Robert F Schmidt <rschmidt@lib.muohio.edu>