[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

Fw: (late) Friday funny



> FWD: Bashing of Different Cultures
>
>  It's stereotypical and obnoxious, but you might find
>  some of it funny.
>
> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
>
>  1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not
>  for smoking them.
>  2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still
>  drink their beer.
>  3. You can legally kill yourself. You can legally be
>  killed
>  4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that
>  nobody hates you.
>  5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else
>   thinks Copenhagen is your capital.
>  6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by
>  saying it's a national tradition.
>  7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save
>   your country.
>  8. You live in the most densely populated country in
>  Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbors.
>  9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war
>   is started blame the Germans. If you lose your keys,
>  blame the  Germans.
>  10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.
>
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
>
>  1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them
>   intelligibly.
>  2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will
>  do it in your country.
>  3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call
>  it beer.
>  4. You are either like the Dutch, just less efficient
>   like the French, just less romantic like the Germans
>  5. Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate.
>  The best beer.
>  6. No one knows anything about you, except for the
>  Dutch and French and they make fun of you.
>  7. More scandals in a week than any other country in
>  a  decade.
>  8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody
>   cares.
>  9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary,
>  or sex-offenders.
>  10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
>
>  1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound
>  gay.
>    2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for
>  the
>  first time.
>  3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's
>  legs.
>  4. If there's a war you can surrender really early
>  5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late
>   night films on Channel 4.
>  6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other
>  people's countries.
>  7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film
>  star.
>  8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most
>  famous
>  street humiliating your sense of national pride.
>  9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just sh..
>  in
>  the street.
>  10. People think you're a great lover even when
>  you're
>  not.
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
>
>  1. You can have a woman president without electing
>  her.
>  2. You can spell color wrong and get away with it.
>  3. You can call Budweiser beer.
>  4. You can be a crook and still be president.
>  5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to
>  do anything.
>  6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
>  7. It's cool to be really obese.
>  8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever
>   made and nobody seems to care.
>  9. Pitch up at the 11th hour for major World
>  conflicts.
>  10. You get to play/watch glorified rounders called
>  baseball.
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN
>    1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.
>  2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the
>  Reindeer.
>  3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year
>  and get 24 hour ozone-holeradiation the other half.
>  4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.
>  5. You can go skiing in your knickers.
>  6. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians
>   in football.
>  7. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
>  8. You don't need to worry about land prices
>  rocketing
>  - its fairly spacious.
>  9. When abroad you can impress people you meet with
>  stories about killing polarbears and shagging
>  penguins
>  - and they
>  believe you.
>  10. You can actually get bored with blondes.
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
>
>  1. Two World Wars and One World Cup.
>  2. Warm beer.
>  3. You get to play/watch glorified rounders called
>  cricket.
>  4. You get to accept defeat very graciously in major
>  sporting events.
>  5. Union jack underpants.
>  6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer &
>  flooding in Winter.
>  7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still
>   a world power.
>  8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
>  9. Ditto changing underwear.
>  10. Beats being Welsh.
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH
>
>  1. You ain't English!
>  2. You ain't English!
>  3. You ain't English!
>  4. You ain't English!
>  5. You ain't English!
>  6. You ain't English!
>  7. You ain't English!
>  8. You ain't English!
>  9. You ain't English!
>  10. You ain't English!
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
>  1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
>  2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
>  3. No need to worry about tax returns.
>  4. Glorious military history prior to 400 BC.
>  5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
>  6. Political stability.
>  7. Flexible working hours.
>  8. Live near the Pope.
>  9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
>  10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
>
>  1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
>   2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the
>  Pyrenees.
>  3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes,
>  Brits, etc.
>  4. The rest of your country is already invaded by
>  Moroccans.
>  5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's
>  the real thing.
>  6. Honesty.
>  7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in
>   stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of
>  bulls.
>  8. You get to eat bull's testicles.
>  9. Gibraltar.
>  10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN
>
>  1.
>  2.
>  3.
>  4.
>  5.
>  6.
>  7.
>  8.
>  9.
>  10.
>  Ok, give them a second chance:
>  1. Oktoberfest.
>  2. Okotberfest-beer.
>  3. BMW.
>  4. VW.
>  5. Audi.
>  6. Mercedes.
>  7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would
>  bring you to jail in any other country of the world.
>  8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign
>  language.
>  9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
>  10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not
>  forbidden by law (yet).
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN
>  1. Chicken Madras.
>  2. Lamb Passanda.
>  3. Onion Bhaji.
>  4. Bombay Potato.
>  5. Chicken Tikka Masala.
>  6. Rogan Josh.
>  7. Popadoms.
>  8. Chicken Dopiaza.
>  9. Kingfisher lager.
>  10. Aggravate everyone else by shaking your head when
>   talking.
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH
>   1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH
>
>  1. Guinness.
>  2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
>  3. You can get into a fight just by marching down
>  someone's road.
>  4. Pubs never close.
>  5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in
>  second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your
>  girlfriend that you
>  can't have sex with a condom on.
>  6. No one can ever remember the night before.
>  7. Kill people you don't agree with.
>  8. Stew.
>  9. More Guinness.
>  10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub
>  at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian
>  violence.
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN
>
>  1. It beats being an American.
>  2. Only country to successfully invade the US and
>  burn
>  its capital to the ground.
>  3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year,
>  outdoors.
>  4. Only country to successfully invade the US and
>  burn
>  its capital to the ground.
>  5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh
>  water in a canoe?
>  6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and
>  his/her popularity ratings will rise.
>  7. Only country to successfully invade the US and
>  burn
>  its capital to the ground.
>  8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover
>  your house in their skins.
>  9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
>  10. Only country to successfully invade the US and
>  burn its capital to the ground.
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN
>  1. Know your great granddad was a murdering bar
>  steward that no civilized nation on earth wanted.
>  2. Fosters Lager.
>  3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your
>  country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs
> to you.
>  4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
>  5. Tact and sensitivity.
>  6. Bondi Beach.
>  7. Other beaches.
>  8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
>  9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.
>  10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold
>  lager on the beach.
>
>  TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK
>
>  1. You get to shout about your culture although the
>  only real culture most Greeks have is what is growing
>  between their
>  toes.
>  2. The police are even more corrupt than the
>  criminals
>  they are supposed to be chasing.
>  3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching
>  it
>  between the thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth
>  without
>  everyone around wretching their stomach contents up
>  at
>  the sight.
>  4. Old women can sport mustaches.
>  5. Young women can sport mustaches.
>  6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear
>  and not get put in a zoo.
>  7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument
>  when the rest of the world sees it as an instrument
>  of
>  torture.
>  8. You are the only nation to have lost its marbles
>  and still wants to let everyone else around the world
>  know about it.
>  9. Ridiculous bureaucracy.
>  10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.
>
>  Can someone tell me the top 10 reasons for being
>  LUXEMBOURGER?
>
>
>
>

A posting from the Archives & Archivists LISTSERV List!

To subscribe or unsubscribe, send e-mail to listserv@listserv.muohio.edu
      In body of message:  SUB ARCHIVES firstname lastname
                    *or*:  UNSUB ARCHIVES
To post a message, send e-mail to archives@listserv.muohio.edu

Or to do *anything* (and enjoy doing it!), use the web interface at
     http://listserv.muohio.edu/archives/archives.html

Problems?  Send e-mail to Robert F Schmidt <rschmidt@lib.muohio.edu>