File = MBR.html
Last update = September 11, 1996

The Master Bedroom Script

Time = 0430


(Alberto and Luisa enter the master bedroom.) [characters switched:] ALBERTO Time for some bubbly. (Alberto will open the champagne, taking the bottle and glasses from the picnic basket.) LUISA You still feel like celebrating? ALBERTO (ignoring the question) What kind of trouble do you think Juan has gotten himself into? He seemed like such a stable person - for the artistic community, at least. LUISA Drugs, most likely. ALBERTO I suppose. Look what we've become. Our culture, the world. LUISA Maybe our parents are right and times were better before. ALBERTO Maybe our grandparents were right! Here we go . . . (He pours two glasses of champagne.) ALBERTO I think generations always feel this way. The grass is greener, the good old days, all those cliches. A cliche wouldn't become a cliche unless it had a kernel of truth in it. LUISA Modern times are so depressing. ALBERTO Yes, I believe Charlie Chaplin made a movie with that very theme. "Modern Times", he called it. There's nothing new under the sun, my love. Cheers. LUISA You aren't upset that we're moving into the scene of a crime? ALBERTO Not my crime. And I don't believe in ghosts. LUISA What if drugs are hidden in the walls, or there's a hidden chamber in the house somewhere? ALBERTO A graveyard in the basement, too! LUISA Don't make fun of me. This worries me. ALBERTO Your grandmother leased the house to a scumbag. What else is there to say? The police will arrest him, he'll go spend his few days in jail before being released to start all over again someplace else - and meanwhile we move into this lovely house and go on with our lives. LUISA I can't dismiss everything that easily. ALBERTO And that, my dear, is why I love you. Someone in the family has to have a conscience. LUISA I just hope Juan goes quietly tonight. She said it could be dangerous. ALBERTO Which is why we are staying right up here and doing as we're told. LUISA You're not curious about what's going on downstairs? ALBERTO Not in the least. I am going to pretend none of this happened. Are you hungry? LUISA God, no! I'd throw up if I ate. Ana enters. [0600] ANA There's been an accident downstairs. Not an accident. A confrontation. An artist went after the local critic and stabbed him. LUISA My God! ANA Nothing serious, apparently - though there is a lot of blood. The critic's still alive. I'm looking for bedding, anything to make him more comfortable. ALBERTO No beds. Did you call the police? ANA Juan seems to be taking it in stride. I got the impression this sort of thing isn't so unusual. You know how artistic temperaments are. LUISA He just walked up and stabbed him? ANA Apparently he got a bad review. LUISA Where is the artist now? ANA I don't know. He left. ALBERTO It gets tougher to be a critic every day. LUISA What a thing to say, Alberto. The man could have been seriously hurt. ALBERTO More evidence of degeneration of the culture - just what we were speaking about. ANA I'd better let them know there's no bedding up here. LUISA We'll come with you. ANA There doesn't appear to be anything anyone can do. Like I said, I got the impression it was something like a family quarrel. LUISA Are you sure? ANA Go on and enjoy your party. LUISA How? First the other, now this. ANA What other? ALBERTO (quickly covering) We were talking about the state of the world and getting depressed. Here, take a glass of champagne down with you. ANA I'll wait til I join you. Save me some. ALBERTO Our condolences to the victim. (Ana leaves, returning downstairs to the living room.) [0730] LUISA How can you be so cold-hearted? ALBERTO I'm not responsible for the evil in the world. LUISA That means you can ignore it? ALBERTO It means I don't let it suck me down to its level. LUISA That sounds like the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand. If you pay attention to nothing that happens around you-- . . . ALBERTO Did I say I'm not paying attention? Who listens to the news every night? LUISA You listen - and all you do is complain. ALBERTO You'd have me do otherwise? The opposite of complain? "Luisa, come in here, listen to this news story, some disgruntled mechanic is so upset that he got fired from his job that he just walked into a schoolyard and fired randomly about and killed 50 innocent children, isn't that something that just makes your day?" Yes, Luisa, the daily news is so uplifting. LUISA That's not what I meant. ALBERTO We live in a terrible world. The question is, what do we do, how do we react? How do we LIVE in the world? And I choose to be happy, despite the world. More champagne? LUISA Yes. ALBERTO So I don't think the lunacy of an egotistical artist should spoil the evening for us. LUISA What if there's a permanent blood stain on the floor? What a thing to have to live with! ALBERTO A mere conversation piece at cocktail parties. LUISA I've never seen this side of you before. ALBERTO Of course you have. LUISA Not like this. ALBERTO We've never shared such an experience before. LUISA I don't think I like this side of you, Alberto. ALBERTO It will grow on you. LUISA No, I don't think it will. Quite the opposite. I feel it pushing me away from you. ALBERTO Don't let that happen, Luisa. Take control of your emotions. LUISA I can't help it. ALBERTO Let's make love on the floor. LUISA That's the last thing I want to do! ALBERTO It might change your mood. LUISA Keep away from me. ALBERTO Okay. We do it your way. We sit here and - what? Feel like victims? Feel like our home is ruined for us forever? Feel like the gods are unfair to be picking on us? Is that what we do instead, Luisa? LUISA Why are you so angry at me? You'd think it was abnormal to react to someone being stabbed in your own house! [0900] ALBERTO People are stabbed every day - by the thousands. LUISA Not in my home. ALBERTO So who is wearing blinders? You only care about your own pain, not the pain in the world? That sounds greedy, Luisa. LUISA I just don't understand your attitude. ALBERTO What is so unusual about wanting to feel good and happy - even if you're surrounded by insanity? Take charge of your life! Reality is up here, in the mind - we make our own reality, Luisa. If you let the world drag you down into its own muck, you'll never be happy. LUISA I was perfectly happy until this happened. Wasn't I? ALBERTO Yes, you were. LUISA Wasn't Mantigo Bay lovely? ALBERTO Lovely, indeed. LUISA Our honeymoon everything we dreamed it would be? ALBERTO Couldn't have been better. LUISA The night we danced til sunrise? ALBERTO I'll remember it always. LUISA Our midnight swim? ALBERTO We made love . . . LUISA It was like a fantasy world. ALBERTO It was a fantasy world, Luisa. It was our honeymoon. LUISA Why did we have to return to this? ALBERTO The gods are playing their usual tricks. LUISA How bizarre this is. Juan was supposed to be out of the house by now. And what was the critic doing here in the first place? The artist must have followed him here. It could have happened on the street or in the supermarket as well as here. ALBERTO The gods have arranged everything so we'd be having this conversation. LUISA You really think so? ALBERTO We were too happy for them. They get jealous of our happiness, you know. The gods are like the characters in soap operas, they're not happy unless they're causing all kinds of personal mischief. LUISA You're making that up. ALBERTO I didn't make it up. Homer did. And he's a much better authority than I am. LUISA Someone is a better authority than you! Such sudden modesty. [1030] ALBERTO Credit where credit is due, my love. LUISA I remember you reading me Homer. ALBERTO I should hope so. LUISA And Neruda. Nicanor Parra. ALBERTO Yes. LUISA It's amazing how quickly our feelings can change, isn't it? I was so happy on our honeymoon. ALBERTO It's amazing how much we let ourselves become victims of our surroundings - isn't it? LUISA You really can dismiss all this? ALBERTO It takes practice - but yes. LUISA I could never do that. ALBERTO Of course you can. It's really only a question of understanding your own power in relation to the world. If you can't change something, why beat your head against the wall about it? Reality is reality, whether we like all of it or not. And reality contains filth as well as beauty - and I can change neither, really. So I prefer to focus on the beauty in the world. LUISA Alberto? Hold me. (They embrace.) LUISA I hope there's no blood stain on the floor. I don't want any reminders of tonight. ALBERTO I think we should treat tonight like an unpleasant relative and kill it with kindness. LUISA And how would we do that? ALBERTO Carry on with our plans - only moreso! Dance with me. (He starts humming or singing a tune, forcing Luisa to dance.) LUISA You are crazy. ALBERTO The world is crazier, and if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. (They dance. Suddenly Luisa breaks away.) [1130] LUISA I have to go downstairs and see what's happening. ALBERTO Luisa . . . there's nothing you can do but make yourself more miserable. LUISA I can't help it. ( She goes downstairs and Alberto follows.) [1130] ----- Time = 1330 (Carmen and Eduardo enter. Carmen admires the room.) CARMEN Very nice. EDUARDO Why is this taking so long? CARMEN Patience, Eduardo. When you hold the winning hand, you let your victims raise the bet. We have to let them come to us. EDUARDO I would rather confront him. I would rather spill real blood. CARMEN I'm sure you would. Tell me - with all this emotional turmoil you're in, how do you ever find time to paint? EDUARDO I do my best work when I'm upset. CARMEN It probably shows. EDUARDO Come see for yourself. CARMEN I told you, that wwould be impossible. (Alberto and Luisa return.) [1400] CARMEN Hello. I don't believe we've met. ALBERTO We're the owners of the house. CARMEN I was just admiring it. Eduardo's been giving me the grand tour. LUISA I know what went on here tonight. CARMEN Do you? LUISA And I don't like it. I'm very close to calling the police. CARMEN Actually, this sordid display of testosterone is about to be resolved. In favor of the passionate artist, I should add. LUISA If that means everybody is leaving, well and good. ALBERTO You see, we were in the middle of a private house warming when all this began . . . CARMEN Oh, of course. Continue on. Lovely house, really. [1430] (Carmen and Eduardo go to the second bedroom.) LUISA That's Ana's mother. She didn't even recognize me. ALBERTO You haven't seen her since high school? LUISA She looks just the same. ALBERTO Thank God you don't! I've seen your school pictures, dear. LUISA She's always been an art collector. I assume that's why she's here. ALBERTO Unless, of course . . . LUISA My God, Alberto, don't even think it! ALBERTO You know her better than I. LUISA She's very straight and narrow. Very wealthy and a bit of a prude. I can't imagine her breaking the law. ALBERTO Not even the tax laws? LUISA Everybody breaks the tax laws. ALBERTO What a coincidence that she and your friend are here tonight. LUISA Ana was my best friend all through puberty. ALBERTO The best time to have a close friend. LUISA For boys, too? ALBERTO For anyone. LUISA We were inseparable. (Luisa laughs.) ALBERTO Luisa? How nice to hear you laugh. LUISA I was just thinking of something. Ana had a crush on this boy, she was determined to lose her virginity with him. Which was contemplating sin, of course. How she suffered over what to do. ALBERTO And you? Who were you dying to sin with? Luisa, are you blushing? (Ana enters.) [1530] ANA Have you seen my mother? LUISA She just left. She didn't even recognize me. ANA I barely recognized you myself. LUISA Do you know what's going on here? We saw the man who was supposed to be stabbed walking around downstairs. ANA A prank and a double-cross is going on - I'm not sure I have all the details straight myself. I'm trying to get mother to purchase a painting so we can get out of here. LUISA Well, she was with a young man. ANA Eduardo. He's the one who stabbed the critic. ALBERTO Good for him. LUISA Alberto! (to Ana) What a night - I do hope we have time to talk later. ANA Do you have dinner plans? ALBERTO Our plans, before they got disrupted, were to have a picnic right here. ANA How romantic. I'm sorry all this stopped you. ALBERTO Just a diversion. It isn't stopping us. LUISA It most certainly is stopping us. We can meet her for dinner later, can't we? ALBERTO Luisa, I was counting on this. ANA I understand. LUISA I'd love to hear what's new in your life. It's been so long, hasn't it? I was just thinking of Pedro Pablo. ANA I haven't thought of him in years. ALBERTO Ana, who was the great love of Luisa's life in school? LUISA Don't you dare! ANA Roberto Bertone. Am I right? LUISA Oh God! ALBERTO What? ANA We could go on for hours - but I have to talk to mother. Can I still get my rain check on that champagne? ALBERTO Later tonight, you mean? ANA I hope so. LUISA Of course. And I'll convince Alberto to take us all out for dinner. ANA I don't want to spoil your party. LUISA It's already been spoiled, believe me. ALBERTO Well, not for yours truly. I celebrate with gusto! ANA I'll try to come back. (Ana exits to second bedroom). [1700] LUISA I do want to go out later. ALBERTO You were looking forward to tonight here, just the two of us. LUISA Of course I was. But not to this! ALBERTO Your attitude determines your reality, Luisa. If you changed your perspective on all this-- . . . LUISA Well, I just can't do that. ALBERTO If that's the case, what do you suggest we do? LUISA Alberto, you sound so forlorn. Am I that hard to understand? ALBERTO No. It's not your fault. Most people would feel the way you do. LUISA You have to have patience with me. ALBERTO I do. LUISA Most of the time you do. But you're angry with me now, aren't you? I can feel it. ALBERTO Not angry. Just a little disappointed. LUISA That's even worse. If you're disappointed in me, then maybe you'll finally get bored with me - and then look elsewhere for amusement. ALBERTO This is no way to talk on our honeymoon. LUISA But it's over. That's what's happening tonight, the end of the honeymoon. I thought it would last longer. ALBERTO No, it doesn't have to be over. We'll wait for Ana and then go out and celebrate. LUISA Celebrate what? ALBERTO Anything! Life! Our good fortune to have had such a lovely time in Jamaica. Your good fortunate in running into your friend after so many years. LUISA You try so hard to lift my spirits. I admire that in you. I wish I could rise to the occasion. ALBERTO The crime that's going on below, it could be worse. Did you think of that? We could be held hostage, even killed. And yet I feel very safe up here. LUISA I don't. ALBERTO Of course you do. LUISA I don't like the thought of being under the same roof with criminals. [1800] ALBERTO What kind of criminals? Not the dangerous kind. Probably it's a white collar crime going on down there. Art forgery. Failure to pay taxes. LUISA I wonder if Juan's a drug dealer. That would be dangerous. ALBERTO I think dealers like to keep on the move. I'd bet money it has something to do with art forgery. Or some business impropriety of some kind. Nothing that attracts the kind of people who are dangerous. LUISA We do have a dangerous man under roof already. ALBERTO Impulsively dangerous. That can be any of us. LUISA You could stab a man? ALBERTO Under the right circumstances, any of us could turn violent. It happens to ordinary people all the time. Everybody has a limit - beyond that, the mind cracks, and anything can happen. LUISA Alberto, would you kill my lover if I took one? ALBERTO What kind of a question is that? You meant it when you said the honeymoon was over. LUISA Just a hypothetical situation. ALBERTO It depends on the context. If you told me over breakfast, no. If I walked into the bedroom and saw you in bed with someone - Ruben Duarte, say - who knows what I might be capable of? I might kill you both in the heat of shock and outrage. LUISA Really? You have so many secrets. ALBERTO What's a secret? I just gave you a hypothetical possibility. LUISA You guard that you're capable of such an irrational and passionate act. You seem so much in control of everything - your attitude determines reality, all those things you told me earlier. Violence seems beyond you. ALBERTO But the shock of seeing you in bed with someone - I might break, Luisa, and do anything. LUISA With Ruben, you said. Why did you pick him? ALBERTO His name just came to mind. LUISA There must be more reason than that. ALBERTO Well, I happen to know he finds you attractive. LUISA He told you? ALBERTO Yes. More than once. LUISA Really? ALBERTO Many men find you attractive, Luisa. It shouldn't surprise you. LUISA What else did he say? ALBERTO I'm not sure what you mean. LUISA About me. ALBERTO I can't think of anything in particular. LUISA Did he wonder what it would be like to make love to me? ALBERTO Luisa! It's our honeymoon, and the conversation keeps moving into very inappropriate areas. LUISA You brought him up, Alberto. I'm just curious. ALBERTO What kind of curiosity is that? Or have you wondered what it would be like to make love to him? LUISA And if I have? Would you kill him in an outrage? ALBERTO Who knows what I might do if I was upset enough? LUISA Then I'm not saying. ALBERTO Not saying what? LUISA Whether or not I have fantasies about Ruben Duarte. ALBERTO You have fantasies about him? LUISA I'm not saying. ALBERTO What is happening to us tonight? I feel like you're a different woman from the one I married. LUISA I could say the same thing about you. I never imagined you were capable of murdering someone. Murdering me! ALBERTO We were talking about a very extreme, hypothetical case. Such a thing is not very likely to happen. (There is a silence.) ALBERTO Is it? LUISA I could never kill you if the tables were turned. ALBERTO Luisa? We are talking about the impossible, aren't we? LUISA Impossible? ALBERTO Very unlikely. Very highly unlikely. LUISA Are we? But I'm already disappointing you. I think I've been getting on your nerves as well. ALBERTO With such talk on our honeymoon, can you blame me? LUISA We left the honeymoon at Montigo Bay. Beautiful, lovely, magical Montigo Bay . . . (A silence.) [2030] ALBERTO You sound so sad, my darling. LUISA I am sad. Tonight is nothing like I expected. ALBERTO But the night is young. We can go to dinner with your friend, tell stories of your school days - you will have fun. LUISA I hope so. ALBERTO I want to see a smile. Can you smile for me? LUISA Alberto . . . ALBERTO Yes, you can . . . (Luisa manages to smile. Alberto embraces her.) ALBERTO See? That wasn't so hard, was it? LUISA I don't like the world when it is like this. ALBERTO Sshh. LUISA I want life to be a honeymoon. ALBERTO Such a nice dream - but only a dream, Luisa. We are in the house of the real world now. LUISA The real world is too painful. ALBERTO Sshh . . . (He comforts her.) (Ana hurries into the room.) [2130] ANA Luisa, I need your help. LUISA What is it? ANA May we speak alone? ALBERTO Of course. Darling, I'll be downstairs. LUISA Thank you, Alberto. (Alberto goes downstairs. LUISA Ana, are you all right? ANA I need to ask a tremendous favor of you. LUISA If I can help you, tell me how. ANA Mother just purchased the rest of the paintings left here, as an investment, you see, and she put me in charge of getting them out of here by noon tomorrow. LUISA That shouldn't be a problem. I can recommend a moving company. ANA It's not that. I'm worried about one of the paintings - you know how rough these moving people can be. So I was wondering if maybe you'd take it home with you tonight and then we could send it on to me separately. LUISA To you? Or to your mother? ANA This particular painting belongs to me. LUISA You bought it? ANA Mother gave it to me for my birthday. LUISA It's your birthday? I thought it was - I can't remember. ANA Early for my birthday. I don't want it damaged. The painting is very important to me. LUISA I'd love to see it. ANA Then you'll do it? LUISA Of course I will. (Ana embraces her.) ANA Thank you. LUISA What are old friends for? Show me the painting. (They go downstairs, stopping at the diningroom). Time = 2230 End of Master Bedroom Script