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Oppiliappan List Archive: Message 00057 Apr 2003

 
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SrI:

Dear Friend :

In response to your question on Sthree Dhanam,
Here are my views.A quick answer to Your question is:
There is no support for Sthree dhanam in the Vedas 
(Rg vedam X Canto).

(The question of the freind who has asked me 
to respond is at the end of my response. Please 
read it first to get a perspective on my response). 

Sthree Dhanam (Dowry ) is an abomination and
has no roots in the VedAs .If the parents of
the bride wish to bless their daughter with 
sthree Dhanam (property, Jewelery et al)as a mark of 
their affection , it is fine. On no account should 
the parents of the bridegroom demand a shopping list of
things as if it is a commercial transaction ,
where their son's value is being put on a scale
(ThulA Bharam) or assessed as a Return on investment 
made by them on his education and earning potential . 

In the old Vedic times , a bachelor had 
to approach the parents of a Kanya thru 
elders and seek her hand for conducting 
a vedic life as a Grahasthan . Bhakthi List 
(http://www.ramanuja.org) has a detailed 
essay on Vedic Wedding , which I wrote back in 1995 .

Here is the acrual URL:

http://www.ramanuja.org/sv/rituals/sacraments/marriage_mantras.html

Today's cruel custom of demanding a dowry 
and weighing the price of a catch 
are atrociuos and despicable. I have seen too many
tragedies of bride being destroyed due to
the thoughtlessness and cruelty of the parents of
the bridegroom. 

The bride should be welcomed to the house of 
the bridegroom as a precious one and cherished.
Many of our young men are so influenced by
the parents demands that they do not protest
this cruelty and injustices of Dowry .

last year , I opened a web site for parents of brides and
bridegrooms to introduce themselves and plan a dowry free wedding .
You can subscribe to it by sending mail to:

sadagopan10510-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Many girl's lives are ruined by this obnoxious 
non-vedic practise . The horrible behavior of 
in-laws after the wedding and demanding of more 
presents for their son (automobiles, refreigirators 
and so many other stupid things) and sending 
the newly married bride home to her parents for noncompliance
with their demands and the spineless newly wed husband 
watching this horrible treatment is fairly familiar.

This practise based on greed and disregard for 
the intrinsic worth of the kanyA has to be stopped
at all costs .

In summary , Vedic weddings are to build families and practise
GrahasthAsrama Dharmams without the unwelcome practise of dowries 
and other monetary considerations that humilate the sacred ritual of
VivAham/Kanyaa Dhaanam processes these days.

DEvotees of the Lord! Please unite to put an end to 
these coercive and adharmic practises thru personal examples. 

V.Sadagopan 

Question of the Friend
***********************
At 04:33 PM 4/27/03 -0000, you wrote:
>Dear sir,
>
>I would like to know about " Sthree Dhnam " described in our 
>VEDAS.

>As your name has been refered by one of my friend, I have decided 
>to contact to know that issue. Plese inform me why sthree dhanam 
>is being given to a women and in what circumstances it is given.
>As this information is urgently required I request you to please 
>send me the details on Sthree Dhanam as early as possible for 
>which I shall be gtateful to you.
>
>Thanking you in anticiaption of reply mail.




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