Srimate SrivanSatakopa Sri Vedanta Desika Yatindra Mahadesikaya nama:
Of Knotty Matters
The venerable Oxford dictionary defines a Knot as "intertwining of parts of one
or more ropes , strings etc. to fasten them together". This simple definition,
however, says little to reveal the true significance of a Knot, which deserves
a few lines in its favour. This may appear to be a rather frivolous subject to
write on, apparently the desperate effort of an empty mind starved of creative
ideas and forced to clutch at mere straws. Nonetheless, the subject is as
fascinating as any other, as can be seen from the following.
The most popular and joyous context in which the Knot figures is in regard to
matrimony. Tying the Knot is an idiom signifying the act of entering into
wedlock. We do not know the origins of this usage, for the British have no
marital ceremony requiring the bride or the groom to tie a knot. When we come
to think of it, this must have been another gift of our haloed Indian heritage
to the English language, originating from the tying and knotting of the
Mangalasutra around the bride's neck by the groom during Hindu marriages.
It is this act, of adorning the girl with a knotted yellow thread, the "ThAli",
that is the high point of the entire marriage ritual, lasting for five whole
days, in days of yore. Even in the currently abbreviated versions of the
function, whatever has been given the go by, the "MAngalya dhAraNam" still
remains the centre-piece of the proceedings, with friends and relatives
showering "akshata" on the heads of the bride and groom (which mostly falls on
the head of the VAdyAr), to the accompaniment of loud and joyous strains from
wind and percussion instruments,meant to block out any inauspicious words or
sounds. Music from the Nadaswaram and the Tavil reaches a crescendo, perhaps
signifying the importance of the moment the knot is tied. It is the experience
of many a parent or sibling that this tying of the knot prompts tears of joy,
of distress at the impending separation, at the uncertainties the married state
holds out, etc.and at the sheer momentous nature of the occasion. All the
frenzied efforts spread over several days and months, involving expenditure of
stupendous and at times ruinous sums of money and effort, attain fruition at
this fine moment, when the knot is tied. As if to emphasize the importance of
the groom's sister in the future domestic scene, she too is given the
opportunity of reinforcing the knot tied by the groom. Perhaps this is advance
intimation to the bride that her "nAtthanAr" would have as much (if not
greater) say in her life, as her husband.
However, all the hype that surrounds the tying of the knot would be subject to
a heavy discount, when we learn that this practice of Tirumangalya dharanam
doesn't appear to have the sanction of the Shruti. Search as you might, in the
entire Yaju: Samhita or in the Mantra Prasna (which codifies the ritual-related
mantras meant for various occasions, auspicious and otherwise), you are unable
to find a single mantra for use during the occasion, which each bride and groom
consider to be a historic milestone in their lives. We find Mantras for the
first tender grasping of the Bride's hand by the Groom ("PANi grahaNam"), for
the Bride setting eyes for the first time on the husband's home, for the
gifting away of the apple of his eye by the bride's father to the stranger come
to take her away forever ("KanyA dAnam") and for a myriad other matters
concerning matrimony, but not the tying of the knot, which, one would assume
from current perceptions, is the high point of the entire ceremony.
Unable to find references to the matrimonial Knot in the entire Vedic
literature, we turn to the glorious Epic Srimad Ramayana, which describes in
detail not one but four marriages, of Sri Rama and His three brothers. Even if
the Vedas, in their high-flying mission of glorifying the Paramapurusha, have
omitted to cover such mundane details as Mangalya dharanam, we hope to find
some reference atleast in Ramayana, with its detailed coverage of men and
matters of that time and age.
Poring over the Sita Kalyana episode with a magnifying glass, we are still
unable to find even a stray reference to the practice of tying knots. The
immortal words of Sri Janaka, in giving his distinguished daughter in marriage
to none other than the Lord Himself, speak merely of PANigrahaNam, of Sri Rama
grasping the tender palm of Sri Mythily in His own, to the accompaniment of the
appropriate Veda mantra. Here is the beautiful sloka of Sri Valmiki, describing
the culmination of the holy wedlock-
"iyam Sita mama sutA sahadharma charI tava
prateeccha cha EnAm bhadram tE pANim grihNeeshva pANinA"
"Take charge of this beautiful damsel by grasping Her hand, to lead Her on your
righteous path. She would be a willing partner in all your lawful endeavours."
Sri Janaka thus appears to signify this holding of hands to be the culmination
of marriage procedure.
Nor are we able to find any traces of the wedding knot in the other major epic,
Sri Mahabharata. Having failed to find mention of the nuptial knot in the
Shruti, we search for some reference to it atleast in the Dravida Vedam. And
which Prabandam could we refer to but Kodai's Nacchiar Tirumozhi, which
graphically describes the vivid dream of Vishnuchitta's worthy daughter, of
entering into glorious wedlock with Sri Krishna, in all of ten pasurams
collectively known as "VAraNamAyiram". Sri Andal speaks ecstasically about the
Lord's impressive arrival, surrounded by and riding on a bevy of majestic
elephants, of His tying the knot of Pratisara bandham on the Divine Bride's
slender wrist, of His grasping Her palm tenderly amidst benediction by Vedic
scholars, of the lAja hOmam that followed, etc. Various aspects of the wedding
procedure are recounted with joy, but without a single reference to the Mangala
Sutram or the three knots.
Leave alone the Divine Dicta, even the Hindu Law recognises only the Saptapati
(the first seven steps the Bride and the Groom take together, signifying their
embarking on a voyage of companionship and camaraderie) as conclusive proof of
marriage, denying recognition to a ceremony in which the aforesaid procedure is
incomplete.
It is abundantly clear from all the notable omissions as aforesaid, that Tying
the Knot was never an approved component of the marriage procedure, leave alone
being the highlight thereof, which it now is. At what point in social history
this practice came into being, by whom it was introduced, the purpose of its
adoption etc. are shrouded in mystery, with nobody able to furnish
authoritative answers. One can therefore hazard a guess at best: the ThAli
might have been introduced to provide an instant identification to a married
woman, as a measure of affording her additional protection from the
unholy-minded. It would also be a constant reminder to the lady of her married
state and the necessity of adhering to attendant norms of conduct. Considering
the special vulnerability of women, the Mangala Sutra was possibly designed as
a protective fence, entitling ladies for special consideration and regard,
prompting nothing but the best of thoughts in the minds of the onlooker.
However, notwithstanding its being unheard of during times of yore, Tying the
Knot is very much an integral and indispensable part of the modern-day
marriage, extending also to the joyous occasions of the husband completing
sixty and eighty years of age, retaining forever the romance of the initial
coming together of the Bride and the Groom.
In contrast, there is another type of marriage, much-coveted by all who are
spiritually inclined, in which the association is considered consummated by the
removal of a knot, and not by its being tied. What marriage could this be,
which advocates the exactly opposite procedure to that prescribed for human
alliances?
Prapatti or Sharanagati is celeberated as the holiest of weddings, between the
individual soul (representing the Bride) and the Paramapurusha, who is the
Eternal Groom. Shastras recognise only the Lord as the Purusha, all others
being considered females ("pum nAmA BhagavAn Hari:" "stree prAyam itarat
jagat"). The selfless surrender of the Jeevatma at the lotus feet of the Lord,
assuring it of unending bliss in the constant company and kainkaryam of the
Paramatma and His acolytes, marking the coming together of the Magnificent
Master and His Eternal Slave, represents a marriage of souls, the
Individual(Jeevatma) and the Universal (VisvAtma). Unlike human weddings, which
come to an end when death or divorce removes the bonds of a lifetime in a
trice, this wedding is forever, with no power on earth or heaven being able to
part the bride and groom ("uravEl namakku ingozhikka ozhiyAdu"). An important
feature of this wedding is that the moment the Bride plights her troth to the
Glorious Groom, the stifling Knots of Karma strangling her neck are untied
gently by the latter, marking freedom from mundane shackles. The cruel Knots of
Karma (forming a dog-collar for the Jeevatma, from which is suspended the
millstone of mundane baggage) fly apart the minute the momentous marriage is
consummated, leaving the bemused bride free forever of all bondage, eternally
free to act as she would ("sa: svarAt bhavati").
Are knots only for women, is a question that may arise in the minds of lady
readers. It would satisfy them to know that even men are not spared these
knots, which form an integral part of the YagyOpavItam which all traivarnikAs
are mandated to wear throughout their lives, irrespective of change in Ashramam
from BrahmachAri to GrihastthA, persisting even when one chooses to renounce
everything and become a SanyAsi. The upaveetam and the Brahma granthi (knot)
thus act as an equaliser between women and their male counterparts. Just as the
wedding knot imposes additional responsibilites of impeccable conduct and
chastity on women, so too the Yagyopaveetam, with its holy knot, obliges the
wearer to perform Sandhyavandanam thrice a day without fail and to imbibe the
wisdom of Vedic lore, apart from performing sacrifices solely with universal
welfare in mind.
As with anything relating to matters spiritual, this piece too would be
incomplete without a reference to Swami Desikan, the author of the "SubhAshita
Neevi", a scholarly work full of homilies, but discernible only to the
initiated, remaining an unfastenable knot for others. The illuminous gems
embedded in this work twinkle their eyes in derision at those lacking devotion,
for their inability to unravel the masterly knots in each of the numerous and
siginificant statements strewn throughout the masterpiece of the Acharya.
Speaking of untying knots, here is a piece of information which everybody might
know, but is still worth repetition. A "Pavitram" made of "Darbham" (sacred
grass) is to be worn on the ring-finger of the right hand as a prelude to the
performance of any ritual, auspicous or otherwise. While the knotted Pavitram
is to be worn throughout the ritual (except during Achamanam), at the end of
the same, we should remember to untie the knot of the Pavitram which holds it
in the shape of a ring. Failure to do so is irregular and requires atonement in
the form of fasting. So before you cast off an used Pavitram, do remember to
untie it.
Srimate Sri LakshmINrsimha divya paduka sevaka SrivanSatakopa Sri Narayana
Yatindra Mahadesikaya nama:
Dasan, sadagopan
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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