[compost_tea] shamefully OT

From: tomjasz <tom_at_livesoil.com>
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2003 07:28:24 -0000

Subject: Velcome to Kalifornia

 

The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the state, rather than
German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded
that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or,
perhaps
even better, "Austrionics".)

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped
in
favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have
one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond
year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This
will
make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it
should
go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und to think it all scharted in Kah-lee-vor-nee-ahhhhh..



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Received on Wed Oct 29 2003 - 10:45:43 EST

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