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Friday funny (and nothing about a pink dress either)
The following comes from one of my brothers (really). Hopefully it will get
the archivists off of the pink dress thread and provide a chuckle to the
rest of
In an attempt to help women better understand the men that they are with
...
1. "I'M GOING FISHING":
Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a
boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete
safety."
2. "IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you
have no chance at all of making it logical".
3. "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
4. "UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY" or alternately "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
5. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
6. "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY
MIND."
Translated: "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."
7. "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
8. "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"
9. "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the
first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every
car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
10. "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
11. "OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death
before I admit that I'm hurt."
12. "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
13. "I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my out stretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless."
14. "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
15. "I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am
hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend
the next 3 days
yelling at me."
16. "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could
be worse."
17. "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm
starving."
18. "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
Peter A. Kurilecz CRM, CA
Manager, Records Management
Woodside Summit Group, Inc
Richmond, Virginia
Tel: 804-744-1247 extension 23
Fax: 804-744-4947
mailto:peter.kurilecz@woodsidesummitgroup.com
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