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Friday Funnies...



Well, seeing as how it is almost Friday and I'm in desperate need of some
wackiness, I figured we could all use this...Much laughter to you all!

Kristin Torgerson
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2000 7:36 AM
Subject: Fwd: FW: MOMS DICTIONARY


>
> > > Subject: MOMS DICTIONARY
> > >
> > > AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to
> > > make love again.
> > >
> > > DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
> > >
> > > FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance
> > > apart to keep you from killing them
> > >
> > > FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the
> > > strained carrots.
> > >
> > > FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
> > >
> > > GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even
> > > though they're sure you're not raising them right.
> > >
> > > HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
> > >
> > > IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
> > >
> > > INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do
> > > everything we say.
> > >
> > > OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
> > >
> > > PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing
> > > dry shoes into it.
> > >
> > > SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
> > >
> > > STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it
> > > and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
> > >
> > > TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
> > >
> > > TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to
> > > make those familiar grunting noises.
>
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