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Re: friday funnies early



I have been reading these funnies stories and i
mentioned them to a co-worker and she sent me this.
It is a story her grandmother told her years ago.  It
is very funny, and since everyone is venturing off
topic today, i thought would send it along, too.  Her
name is Betsy Hargis, and she said it would be fine to
send it.
She transcribed it verbatim as best she could remember
and calls it:



Granny's Story


I recall when the front porch fell off the Simpson's
house.  Yes, it sure did.  Fell right off.  we was all
havin' some sorta family reunion an' had a whole lotta
country cousins, you know.
Now, some a them boys was near 'bout big as a house
theyselves.  So, them boys had themselves a cookout in
the back yard and goodness gracious they musta et a
whole pig.  So anyway, They et that pig out back an'
while the women folk an' me, I was just a girl, but I
counted as women folk even then, cleaned up, them boys
went out to sit theyselves on the front porch.
        Now, this weren't no regular front porch.  Had big
steps leadin' way up to the
house an' was real wide and deep.  So they was there
an' I took out the ice cream churn to them an' they
got to turnin'.  Musta been twenty minutes later I
heard some sorta commotion out there so I went to
look, you know, an I seen all a them boys was standin'
up like they was balancin'-- they arms out wide.  Then
I seen why.  Porch was movin' an' it was movin away
from the house.  One a them boys hollered
"whoooaaaa!!!" an' started runnin' for the door an'
then they was all runnin'.
        Well, that just made it worse, the porch just tilted
itself up straight and fell out into the yard.  Well,
you know it'd been rainin' and the yard, it was a
mess.  All them boys fell straight into a big mud
puddle.  Weren't no body hurt except cousin Ruben what
fell on cousin Nimrod's head an' broke his arm.
        You don't hardly even see nothin' like that no more,
I guess.  Porch'd been there near 'bout 50 years I
reckon.  Never did know for sure why it fell off.
Weren't no one too keen on comin' right out an' sayin,
"Too many fat boys on one porch." Least not in public.
 But all a us saw it an' used to laugh like crazy ever
time we got together.  Them boys, they never all sat
on no porch up in the air again, neither.
        I musta been 14 when that happened.  I can still
taste that off the porch ice cream.  Fallin' didn't
hurt that none an' them boys was too shook up to
notice it got all 'et up before they got them selves
any.  Mmm mmm, that was some good ice cream.








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