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Expected arrival and departure dates; listserv humor



On Wed, 4 Apr 2001, Brian Murphy wrote:
> 
> I have just started keeping records, but my memory tells me I have never
> heard a Whip-poor-will this early - this morning. Am I right?

On Tue, 3 Apr 2001, Cathy Green wrote:
> 
> Just wanted to report that I have a Ruby-Crown Kinglet still feeding on my
> home-made suet here, and also have Junco's still here. Both seem to be here
> awfully late in the season for our area.  Can anyone tell me different? I
> know I have NeveR had them at my house this late.

Hi Carolinabirders,

This doesn't apply so well to Cathy's question, but folks in the North 
Carolina Piedmont can check with the Triangle Area Bird Checklist at 
http://www.duke.edu/~cwcook/chbc/trichk2000.pdf (note: .pdf files require 
Adobe Acrobat Reader to read; it can be downloaded off the web for free).

According to this checklist - which Will Cook concocted and occasionally 
updates for the Chapel Hill Bird Club - Brian's Whip-poor-will is 
actually a tad late, as many species seem to be this year. The checklist 
shows them arriving around here as of late March, although this week is 
the time when their abundance increases from "uncommon" to "fairly 
common".

As for Cathy's species, here in the Triangle the Ruby-crowned Kinglets 
remain "fairly common" through the third week in April, and a few may 
linger through mid-May. Juncos are still rated as "fairly common" this 
week, but decline throughout this month, and are supposed to be gone by 
the first week in May. I think Augusta is on the Piedmont, as the 
Triangle is, but I'm not sure how far ahead of us seasonally you are due 
to the few hundred miles south...

Meanwhile, my Rufous Hummingbird is now three weeks past the previous 
latest report for the Triangle. However, Hummer guru Bob Sargent tells me 
in a private e-mail that Rufous Hummingbirds have been found in the 
southeastern US in every month except June.

Pasted at the end of this message is something very funny, not about 
birds in particular, but about listservs in general. It's meant, unless 
I'm mistaken, to be sung to a certain Gilbert and Sullivan tune (from HMS 
Pinafore, if I recall correctly)... Enjoy!

Good birding,

Josh


Joshua S. Rose
Duke University
Department of Biology (Zoology, R.I.P.)

jsr6@acpub.duke.edu
http://www.duke.edu/~jsr6/

====================================================================

I am the very model of a Newsgroup Personality 
I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality. 
Addresses I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted to, 
On all the countless mailing lists that my drivel is cross-posted to.

Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my snivelling, 
And you're the one who pays the bill downloading all my drivelling. 
My enemies are numerous, and no one would be blaming you 
For cracking my head open after I've been rudely flaming you.

I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it). 
I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it. 
My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia, 
Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.

The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery, 
Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery. 
I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity, 
The gibberings of one who's at the limit of his sanity.

If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to; 
If only mum could find a circus freak-show she could sell me to; 
If I go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery; 
If I lose all my fingers in a mishap with machinery;

If I survive to forty, which is somewhat problematical; 
If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical; 
If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate; 
Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable punk you hate?

But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my face,
It's simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace. 
To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity 
Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity.

I always have the last word; so, with utmost finality, 
That's all from me, the model of a Newsgroup Personality.


I hope you're smiling :-)

J.
--
James Cracknell <calidris@BIGFOOT.COM>
PS This is how bad things become after a bottle and a half of Californian 
Red.