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Acid wit, alkaline spit

Alkaline litmus test
Passing the test means starting the fast; there's nothing worse than having to hang around waiting while your "co-cleansers" are speeding through their detox drinks, herbal pills and coffee colemas. It's also part of the institutionalisation programme - by day seven, you're so entrenched in the routine of taking 6 pills and two pints of fluid every couple of hours, punctuated by the coffee wash, that you may as well be part of a cult. The Cult of the Colon.


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