3574:##
nangaL varivaLaiyaay aNGkaaLO* nammutai Ethalar munbu naaNi*
nungatku yaan_onRu uraikkummaaRRam* nOkkuginREn engum kaaNamaattEn*
changam charindhana chaayizandhEn* thadamulai ponniRamaayth thaLarndhEn*
vengaN paRavaiyin paagaNn engOn* vEngadavaaNaNai vEndichchenRE. (2) 8.2.1
1. Oh My dearest friends, (ones who wear lovely bangles!) I am ashamed of
telling my situation to our (enemy) mothers. (Enemy because they do not
support us nor are they concerned; they know only to scold us!). But I can
at least speak to you. Even then, I am Not able to tell all that I
experience. My heart has gone to ThiruvEnkatanAthan. I went to see Him
with great desire in my heart, because I have fallen in love with Him who
rides on GarudA. (He should have actually come to me; Instead, I went to
Him). Even then, since, I could NOT see Him and fulfil my desires, I am
suffering terribly. My bangles have simply fallen off (due to my wrists
getting thin). I have lost my usual complexion and brightness. Due to my
suffering and pangs of separation, my breasts have lost their Golden
colour and become pale. My body has become exhausted.
3575:
vEndichchenRu onRu peRugiRpaaril* ennutaiththOziyar nungatkElum*
eendithuraikkumpadiyai andhO* kaaNkinRilEn idaraattiyEn naan*
kaaN_dhaguthaamaraik kaNNan kaLvan* viNNavar_kOn nangaLkOnaik kandaal*
eendiyachangum niRaivumkoLvaan* eththanaikaalam iLaikkinREnE! 8.2.2
2. My friends! Are you all not so dear to me? (who have the right to get
from me whatever you desire!). Even to such dears like you, I am not able
to fully describe my sorrows in words. They are so big sorrows and are
really tormenting me. If I can see MY LOVER KaNNan,- and can satisfy all
my desires by seeing those Red Lotus Beautiful eyes of that Chief of
NityasUris- the Robber of my heart- I can get back my bangles and my lost
complexion and beauty. I don't know how long I am going to keep on
suffering and getting thin without fulfilling my desires?
3576:
kaalam iLaikkil allaal viNnaiyEn naan iLaikkinRilan* kandu koNmin*
NYaalam aRiyap pazichumandhEn* nannuthaleer! ini naaNiththaan_en*
neelamalar nNeduNYchOthichoozndha* neendamugilvaNNan kaNNan konda*
kOlavaLaiyodu maamaikoLvaan* eththanaikaalamum kootachchenRE? 8.2.3
3. Oh my dearest friends (ones who have beautiful foreheads)! There is no
benefit at all hereafter in my feeling shy to tell you all of my
situation. That Blue hued Lord kaNNan has stimulated my Virahathaapam and
has made me thin down with my bangles falling off and my fair complexion
getting pale. I am suffering from "pasalai" disease (pasalai- name in
tamil for the disease the lover causes by leaving his beloved suffering
from pangs of separation. The beloved gets pale, thin, body gets tired -
she simply languishes!) hence, I had to come out of my house (and let the
whole world know about it) in search of Him and to get back whatever I
lost in Him. Thus, I have become even notorious. Now, unless I see Him
,join Him and unite Him (The One who is like The Most Beautiful Blue Stone
surrounded by limitless unbounded lustre), I will Never ever come back.
Even if the ever permanent time (kaala tatvam) ends, I will not give up.
It is impossible to get Him- you all say. I think I have committed so many
enormous sins!
3577:
kootachchenREn ini en_kodukkEn?* kOlvaLai neNYchath thotakkam ellaam*
paadaRRoziya izandhuvaigal* palvaLaiyaarmun parichazindhEn*
maadakkotimathiL then_kuLandhai* vaNkutapaal nNinRa maayakkooththan*
aadalpaRavai uyarththavelpOr* aazivalavinai aathariththE. 8.2.4
4. ThenkuLandhai - This Divya dEsam has got great tall buildings,
ramparts, etc.. At this sthalam, Maayakkootthan (The Mischievous Dancer)
is gracefully present. That SarvEshwaran has got GarudA as His flag. He
has the Divine strong ChakrAyudham. I went there with a tremendous desire
to unite with Him. But when I went there, I lost my bangles, my
complexion, my heart etc.. Is it just that? I LOST EVEN MY FEMININE
SHYNESS. (naaNam). I am now standing ashamed - standing brazen- shameless-
in front of my friends, unable to tell even to them. Like that due to my
love for Emperumaan, after losing all my things (my shyness, my heart- my
bangles, my complexion, my name in the society, etc..), what else to lose?
What to give Him still fresh?
3578:
aazivalavinai aatharippum* aangavan nammil varavum ellaam*
thOziyar_kaaL! nNammutaiyamEthaan?* cholluvathO iNGku ariyathuthaan*
oozithORoozi oruvaNnaaga* nan_guNarvaarkkum uNaralaagaa*
choozalutaiya chutar_koLaathith* thollaiyaNYchOthi ninaikkuNGkaalE. 8.2.5
5. Even the Greatest scholars (jnAnis), try to know Emperumaan fully
trying all their ages, still they can NOT get to know Him completely.
Emperumaan (who is capable of capturing His devotees so effortlessly with
His Beauty) is the Most Brightest Shining, Primordial Chief and the Prime
Cause of everything. He has got Divya mangaLa swarUpam and is a
JyothiswarUpI. The One who has the ChakrAyudham in His right hand-
friends! Is it possible for us to reach Him with our efforts alone? Is it
also in our control and in our hands to wait for Him to come to us and
enable us join Him? NO! Hence, whatever you all talk about me, they should
not be talked! I simply can not listen to them.
3579:
thollaiyaNYchOthi ninaikkuNGkaal* en chollaLavanRu imaiyOr thamakkum*
ellaiyilaathana koozppuchcheyyum* aththiRam niRka emmaamaikondaan*
allimalarth thaNthuzaayum thaaraan* aarkku idukO inippoochal cholleer*
vallivaLavayalchooz kutandhai* maamalarkkaN vaLarkinRamaalE. 8.2.6
6. In spite of whatever extent we feel or think about Emperumaan's lustre,
it is not possible to fully experience or feel His brightness nor can we
describe in our words. Even to BrahmA et al, it gives them doubt and lack
of clarity in knowing Emperumaan's Greatness and form/lustre. Such
Greatest Lord, has allured me with His awesome Beauty and auspicious
attributes (kalyANa guNAs) and I have lost my Brownish Fair complexion
(due to my suffering from "pasalai" disease). He hasn't even given me His
cool most fragrant ThuLasi maalai that He is wearing. Such a Cruel Lord
(the One who is causing me terrible sufferings) is having His Yogha nithrA
at Thirukkudanthai. Now after He deserted me like this, who else should I
call for? Where else should I go but to His door entrance? Tell me!
3580:
maalarikEchavan naaraNan* Cheemaathavan kOvindhan vaikundhan' enRenRu*
Olamida ennaip paNNivittittu* onRum uruvum chuvadumkaattaan*
Elamalar kuzal annaimeergaaL!* ennutaith thOziyarkaaL! en_cheykEn?*
kaalampalachenRum kaaNpathaaNai* ungaLOtu engaL idaiyillaiyE. 8.2.7
7. Oh Mothers! Friends! I, who has been captured (trapped) by Emperumaan's
Nithya kalyANa guNAs, have been yelling again and again with His names "
ThirumaalE! HarI! Kesavaa! Sri Madhavaa! Narayanaa! GovindhA! VaikunthA!.
This Lord- The One who has made me in such pitiable state of crazily
calling Him repeatedly- has never even shown His face- never even shown
any semblance/ identification (that He will come to take me!). He has not
even shown the way to reach Him. What shall I do, now? (Tell me!). I AM
NOT GOING TO LEAVE THIS AT THIS STAGE. THIS IS MY VOW! (I have taken a
vow!) Let it take any amount of time- ages- yugams- Whatever happens- I
WILL SURELY SEE TO IT THAT I SEE HIM. Please do NOT attempt to change my
decision. (IT CAN NOT BE CHANGED! I AM DETERMINED!) There is no connection
between you and me any more. Do not talk to me any more on this matter!
(Dearest sisters and brothers, What a lovely expression of feelings and
anubhavam of AzhwAr! Where did he see all these! He was sitting under the
tree and knows all these "beloved's" sufferings so well and have written
so nicely
3581:
idaiyillaiyaan vaLarththakiLigaaL* poovaigaLkaaL!kuyilkaaL!mayilkaaL*
utaiyanNammaamaiyum changum neNYchum* onRum oziyavottaathu kondaan*
adaiyum vaikundhamum paaRkadalum* aNYchanaveRpum avainNaNiya*
kadaiyaRappaachangaL vittapinnaianRi* avan_avai kaaNkotaanE. 8.2.8
8. Oh My dear Parrots! Cuckoos! Peacocks! Emperumaan has taken away my
fair brown (maamai) complexion, my bangles, etc.. He has also snatched
away my heart from me! Everything He has robbed! His Vaikuntham, His
ThiruppaaRkadal, His ThiruvEnkadam are all ver near. Only after getting
rid of my bondage completely (removing from the root level), then only He
will show them (heart, bangles, complexion etc) to me. Hence, there is no
connection between us any more. Nor do I desire for that any more. (to get
rid of bondage, AzhwAr has taken her mind away from her pets and dear
birds!).
3582:
kaaNkoduppaanallaNn aarkkum thannai* kaicheyappaaladhOr maayanNthannaal*
maaNkuRaL kOla_vadivukaatti* maNNum viNNum niRaiya malarndha*
chENchutarththOLkaL palathazaiththa* thEvapiraaRku en niraivinOdu*
naaNkoduththEn ini en_godukkEn* ennutai nannuthal nangaimeergaaL. 8.2.9
9. Oh my dearest friends (ones who have beautiful foreheads)! Emperumaan
will never show Himself completely to scholars of any extent of jnAnam
whatever. (None can get to know Him). He appeared as a small Vaamanan. He
took a huge, Big form of Thirvikraman to house the universe under His
Feet. His lustrous shoulders expanded so huge. I lost myself to such
Greatest Devapiraan. I have lost my feminine shyness also to Him. What
else to lose further? What else to offer Him further? (Like mahAbhali, I
have also lost all my things to Trivikraman- says Parangusa nAyaki).
3583:
ennutai nannuthal nangaimeergaaL!* yaan inichcheyvathen? en neNYchu_ennai*
nNinnidaiyEn allEn' enRu_neengi* nEmiyum changum irukaikkondu*
panneduNYchoozchutar NYaayiRROdu* paanmathi Endhi OrkOla_neela*
nanneduNGkunRam varuvathoppaan* naanmalarp paatham adainNthathuvE. 8.2.10
10. Oh My dearest Friends! There is nothing I can do hereafter. Even MY
HEART LOOKED AT ME AND SAID " there is no connection between you and me
any more " ad went to Emperumaan. He has both ChakrA and the Sanghu in His
Hands. When one sees Him coming with those Sanghu Chakram, it appears as
if a Big Huge Blue Mountain comes with the Sun and the Moon on its top (on
both sides). To such Lord, my heart has taken refuge at the Lotus Feet.
What else can I do further?
3584:##
paatham adaivathan paachaththaalE* maRRavanpaachangaL muRRavittu*
kOthilpukazkkaNNan dhan_NnadimEl* vaNkurukoorch chadakOpan_chonna*
theethil andhaadhiyOr aayiraththuL* ivaiyumOr paththu ichaiyOdum vallaar*
aathumOr theethilaraagi* angum_ingum ellaam amaivaargaL thaamE. (2) 8.2.11
11. Thirukkurugoor sadgOpar, desired to reach the Lotus Feet of Emperumaan
and with no desires after worldly matters he composed 1000 pAsurams in
praise of KaNNan (in andhaadhi style). Out of those 1000, those who read
this ten will have no sorrows- and will be blessed with all good things
here (in this world) and at Paramapadham as well.